Transcript
Well, I guess this is the warning label for the video you're about to watch. It does have the potential to offend some of you, but I want to explain this video. I think that we've made the mistake of making wholesome language the product of vocabulary and really, it's not about vocabulary.
Wholesome Language and the Intentions of the Heart
When Ephesians talks about wholesome language, it talks about the intentions of the heart. And if the intentions of the heart are right, then you're going to use words in a way that glorifies God. I think that this video illustrates that very powerfully and does that by pushing the envelope. Trust me, you'll survive and you'll be thankful for the biblical perspective on your language.
We had this funny moment with our family one night when we were out for dessert. I was going on a longer sort of international trip and I wanted to spend the evening just with my kids, just saying, "Daddy loves you and Mommy loves you, but daddy's not going to be here and this is a real opportunity to love your mommy."
And somehow, around dessert, one of our children said, "Dad, I don't get this thing about language. Why are some words bad and others aren't? Some of these words just don't seem that bad. They just seemed like somebody decided they're bad. And what are bad words and what are not?"
And I made this distinction for them and it turned out to be not a helpful distinction, as demonstrated by the rest of the evening. I said, "There are these words that are condemning, judgmental, ungodly words. It should never, never be spoken. I shouldn't say, 'God damn you,' because I'm evoking the name of God to damn you. I should never do that and that's clear, defined. You shouldn't speak in that way.
A Conversation With My Children About Words
"There are words that are graphically sexual and those words bring to mind things that I wouldn't want to bring to mind. There other words that are just, in given cultures, impolite." And so I said, "'Shit' is one of those words. You know, it's not an evil word in that damning way. It's not a sexual word. It doesn't bring things to mind like that. And it's probably a matter of just cultural politeness to know when I'm going to use that word."
My son says, "No shit."
My daughter says, "This cake is shit."
My other son says, "I think this whole conversation is just shit."
They Got the Point All Too Well
And it just wouldn't stop. I'm laughing hysterically because they got the point all too well. And then I went on to say, "But you're missing the point because the Bible actually has a higher standard than culture does." It's a standard that is so high it really gives me pause with every word I speak.
The Bible doesn't define wholesome communication in a vocabulary-way. The Bible defines wholesome communication in an intention-way. The Bible says that wholesome communication is intended to give grace to the hearer. Wowee zowee. So I imagine if I could say "shit" to you in a way that would give you grace, I'd say it. If I'm in a context where that word cannot minister grace, not edify you, it shouldn't be said.
It's my intention that is the issue there. I'm called to love you like Christ loved me. What is that love? It's easily defined. It's willing self-sacrifice for the redemptive good of another. That's the love of Christ. That's the love that is the model for my communication. So I'm willing to sacrifice my right to a vocabulary in order to be part of redemptive good in your life. It's all about intention and I think we really denigrate the battle by making it just a battle of vocabulary.
Think about this. You could say to me, "Okay, Dr. Tripp, I'll do what you want me to do." Now, you've given an honorific title, but you've used it in a mean way. You can't walk away and say, "God, I'm using words the way You want me to use them," because your intention is actually to use respect in a disrespectful way. That's the battle of words.
It Is Not Vocabulary, It Is the Heart
And so, when I got done with the conversation with my children, all of a sudden, they're, "We get it." It's not vocabulary. We can't just be free now that we've been given this vocabulary license to use words any way we want because God says you only speak words to another person that build them up and that give them grace. Whatever the word is, it's got to reach that standard of wholesomeness.
