Transcript
There probably is not a more scary or sobering proverb than the proverb that essentially says, "Words give life, words bring death. You choose." I just want to put duct tape around my whole head and go hide in a closet because I want to think that my words live in some happy world of neutrality because that would be easier.
The Grace We Would Rather Not Trust
Now, I will tell you why I want to think that - because I don't want to trust the transforming grace of the Lord Jesus Christ. I want to be self-reliant. I want to believe that I'm okay and I don't want to have to face the deep need for the grace of Christ that's in my life. Maybe the second scariest passage is in in James, where James says if you're able to bridle your tongue, you're a drop-dead perfect guy. What James is saying is there's no greater argument for your need of grace than what comes out of your mouth.
And so, you put these passages together, what scripture teaches is that words have direction to them. My words are moving in the direction of life. Those are words of encouragement and hope and forgiveness and reconciliation and gentleness and kindness and brotherly love and peace. Or my words move in a death direction. Those are words of condemnation and anger and vengeance and malice and slander and gossip.
Now, my view of the Proverbs is this - that every proverb has the whole redemptive story in it, that the proverbs are summaries for the narrative. And what the prophet is saying is the whole story of life is a story of life and death, and these two things are warring. Life is warring with death, and death is warring with life. And you speak in either one of those directions.
A Husband, a Wife, and a Ruined Dinner
A man comes home at the end of his day and he looks forward to the meal at the end of the day. His wife's a pretty good cook and he comes into the house ready to smell the smells. That day, she's had a real busy day. She is a flawed human being. She's not perfect, although he probably wants her to be. And she got busy with the kids, and she burned the roast.
He sits down at the table and there's this thing that looks more like a charcoal briquette than it does like a piece of beef. And he leans forward and he says, "You know, I work hard for you and I don't demand much. An edible meal would be helpful and look what you put on the table. Do you expect me to eat this?"
Now, those aren't neutral words. Those are words that move in a death direction. Does that woman think, "I'm so get glad this man loves me. I want to entrust myself to him. I'm so glad God has put this man in my life. I'm so thankful for my family." She doesn't think any of those things. She's crushed and is at least tempted toward bitterness.
Rewind the Scene: Words That Give Life
Let's rewind the scene. The man comes home. He's just as hungry. He enters the door, smelling the smells. He knows the minute he smells that there's trouble. His wife, in this moment of embarrassment, puts the roast down on the table and he grabs her hand and he says, "Dear, it's okay. You serve us everyday in more ways than I'll ever, ever notice. You love me in ways that I could never earn or achieve. If all I have to deal with is an occasional burnt roast, I have so much to be thankful for. It's okay. I love you and this is a little thing." Those are words that move in a life direction.
Now, think about this. If those two scenes are played out twenty different times that week, fifty different times, a thousand times, you get a marriage that's moving in a death and destruction direction. And fifteen years later, in counseling, that couple is going to say, "How did this ever happen to us?"
Or you have this couple that's moving in a life direction, deeper love, deeper understanding, deeper unity, deeper apprehension of the grace of Christ. Fifteen years in, they're now counseling other couples because they've seen how the work of Christ works in their lives. What's the difference? Words have direction. One is going in the direction of death, the other is going in the direction of life.
