Transcript
Ben Fallon: Thanks for tuning in to “Ask Paul Tripp.” Don't forget to send us your questions. Email ask@paultripp.com or submit one on our website at paultripp.com/ask.
Here's today's question, Paul. “We live in a traumatized age where people are easily offended by anything, and everyone is being trained to feel like a victim. Many cultural critics are saying that we have become soft, and this generation is often nicknamed ‘snowflakes.’ A common post going around on social media says:
Hard times create strong men,
Strong men create good times,
Good times create weak men,
Weak men create hard times.
“How should we think about patience, tenderness, and bluntness while we minister to people? How can we find the line between being caring, but then when do people just need to toughen up?”
Paul Tripp: So, when it comes to trauma, I think it is wonderful that we are now able to talk about trauma openly. I think that we're probably not experiencing more trauma; we just have the freedom to talk about it more. And it's not a good thing for ongoing trauma to be denied or hidden–that's not a pathway to help.
Now I'm going to say the opposite. “I mourn the fact that we talk about trauma so much because I think we've gotten to the point where almost everybody's traumatized.” And so, here's where I think again the biblical worldview, the gospel worldview, is so incredibly helpful. I want to say it this way and then I'm going to explain it. “The most important question in life is not ‘How does this make me feel?’ If you think the most important question in life is ‘How does this make me feel?’ you will find trauma everywhere.” Now the question, if that's your central question, what that's doing is putting you in the middle of the world, and your experience is the most important reality you can have.
As a matter of fact, you're not in the middle of the world. As a matter of fact, life is not all about you. As a matter of fact, God will lead you through experiences that are hard and tough for his glory and for your good. So, if you're on social media, you know the most important question that people are asking is “How does this make me feel?” A better question is “Why am I experiencing this/what is God doing?” So, I'm recognizing that the control center, the epicenter of my existence is not me–it's God! People who know me have heard me say this a thousand times. The four most important words of the Bible are “In the beginning God.” The central reality of the human experience is God. The central important thing then is “Who is this God? What is he doing, and how do I respond properly to it?”
And yes, I think we've become weak. I will never use this term because I think it's disrespectful. But the term ‘snowflake’ is pretty provocative because a snowflake hits anything, and it melts! So, I get why people use that term. You know, think, “If you can't have political discussions on our college campuses anymore because someone's going to be traumatized by it, the great comedians of our culture, like Jerry Seinfeld, won't go to colleges anymore because the first joke, he gets booed off the stage because people can't handle that.” You can't have cultural appreciation because someone is always going to be offended. One place, they had to cancel “Taco Tuesday” because that was offensive, rather than see it as a celebration of Mexican cuisine. So, I think we've gotten too easily traumatized because I think even in the Christian community, we have bought into “Nothing's more important than my feelings.” That's just not true!
Think of the story of Joseph. Sold into slavery, ended up in Egyptian prison, rises, seduced by a very important person's wife, back in prison. But you read the whole story, and it's through that man and his power in Egypt, that God rescued an entire nation, and out of that nation came the Messiah!
Now, could Joseph cry out to the Lord, “God! Why? Why is this happening?” Yes, he should have; He did! But were his feelings the most important thing in that whole scenario? No, it wasn’t! It was the purposes and plans of God who was doing something that was incredible–that actually resulted in my and your salvation!
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