Transcript
Ben Fallon: Thanks for joining us today on the “Ask Paul Tripp Podcast.” My name is Ben Fallon, the Executive Director of Paul Tripp Ministries, and I want to remind you to send us your questions. Email ask@paultripp.com or submit it online at paultripp.com/ask.
Paul, today's question comes from Amy, who's a biblical counselor. She asks, “If the pain and suffering in this life are meant to make us long for paradise, what do you tell a Christian who has endured and is enduring so much suffering and trauma that all they want is to be with Jesus, and are considering taking their life so they can? As a counselor, this has been one of the toughest ones for me. I have talked about God's sovereignty and plan for their lives, and how he has ordained our days, and if they're still on this earth, God still has a plan and purpose for them here. But when the very thing that's supposed to offer hope to a suffering believer ends up being the thing that quite possibly makes everything worse, what do you say?”
Paul Tripp: One of the things that I always say about suffering, and I think it's very, very important to get a hold of this, is that you don't just suffer the thing that you're suffering, you also suffer often the way that you're suffering. It's completely untrue that suffering is a passive experience. We think, do, and say things that shape our own suffering.
So, that means that thinking biblically about suffering is incredibly important, because I think so much so, that I wrote a book about suffering called Suffering to interact with this whole experience. I want to say, “I'm not doing that in the abstract. My life in the last ten years has been one of suffering, and I still live with a broken body and pain every day, and so I get the unrelenting nature of suffering.”
The Bible says that there are three purposes in suffering. First, I suffer because I'm in a fallen world. I, by God's plan between ‘the already’ of my conversion and the ‘not yet’ of my homecoming, I'm living in a world that does not function the way God intended. And because it doesn't function the way God intended, bad things happen.
In Romans 8, beginning with verse 18, when Paul begins to discuss suffering, he assumes that suffering is universal. If you're not suffering now, you will someday. If you're not suffering now, you're near someone who is. Suffering is a universal human experience because it's the result of living in a fallen world; suffering is universal and inescapable. That means it's not the result of God's absence or God's weakness or God's lack of love; it's just because this is where we live.
Second, suffering is used by God to grow, mature us spiritually. Romans 5 talks about that, James 1 talks about that, 1 Peter 1 talks about that. There are a variety of passages that say one of God's best tools in bringing us to where he wants us to be, bringing us into maturity in Christ, is difficulty.
Third reason we suffer is for the purpose of ministry. There is 2 Corinthians chapter 1, we suffer so that “…we can offer to people the same comfort we ourselves have received from the Lord.”
And then we could add that fourth thing that suffering does make us long for our eternal home. So, every day, if you're going through suffering, every day you're interacting with your suffering. If a comfortable, pleasurable, predictable life is your highest goal, suffering will destroy you; and all you want to do is just get out of it however you can, whether that's natural death or taking your life.
If we understand that a comfortable life is not the major plan, but there's something better; that's a deepening of my communion with my Lord, a deepening of my communion with his people, a greater and greater freedom from the bondage of sin, that these are all the highest treasures of life, the highest purposes of life, then that makes it easier to endure suffering. I think we have to be very, very tender and very, very gentle about saying the things that I just said.
But I think we need to bring people to the understanding that part of what happens to us is we're living in a culture that says physical health, physical beauty, wealth, and a comfortable pleasurable life is the game. And if you buy that, you're going to hate your suffering, and you may even go so far as to curse God in suffering. So, one of the reasons I love the Bible is the Bible is a treatise on suffering. We have suffering from the third chapter of Genesis all the way into the book of Revelation. And so, we have so much to learn about how to live through this experience. Of course, chronic pain is discouraging; of course, having something going on inside my physical body that I know will never be cured is discouraging.
But God doesn't promise us a suffering-free life. He promises us something fundamentally better. He promises us himself, that he is for us, in us, and with us, and his presence and power and grace can transform our experience of suffering.
BF: Can you talk a bit about your own experience, enduring physical pain, Paul? Back in 2014, you were hospitalized and went through some excruciating pain that you say you never knew existed. I actually remember being on the phone with Luella getting an update on what was happening in those early hours, and I heard you scream in the background, and I realized, “Oh my goodness, this is so much more serious than I first thought.” At one point during those spasms, you said to Luella, “I just want to die, because no one or nothing could relieve your pain!”
PT: So, in my most profound moments of suffering, when I was weaker than I ever had been, and one time in the hospital, going through indescribable pain, I did want to die because it just seemed like anything that would end this moment.
What I think is wonderful about God's grace is he doesn't turn his back on us in those moments and get mad at us in those moments; he moves toward us. And so, we don't have to let that moment be ultimate, because it isn't ultimate. God is ultimate, and it's possible to come out of those moments, literally, with a deepening commitment to endurance and a deepening thankfulness for the presence of the Lord.
I have to say something about suicide. Is that a sinful choice? Sure, it is! It's just like any other place where I ascend to the throne of God and do what God is only right to do. It's like murder; murder is taking a life, and only God is meant to take life. But I have to say this, committing suicide doesn't mean the person goes to hell because my righteousness didn't get me a ticket to heaven, and my suicide, therefore, won't get me a ticket to hell. I am saved by grace and grace alone!
Is it a regrettable decision? Sure, it is, particularly if you have a close circle of friends and family. After you're gone, people are going to suffer for years. So, it's a very significant place where we do what God is only supposed to do. But it doesn't mean that we're going to go to hell.
Let me say another thing; in those moments when death looks better than life, rather than hiding in shame from God, those are the moments to cry out to God. In those moments, I couldn't pray the kind of prayer I normally pray. All I could pray was, “Lord, help me. Lord, help me. Lord, help me.” Maybe that's the most theological prayer I've ever prayed, because it confesses my weakness and inability and throws myself into the hands of God. So, don't let your desperation cause you to run from God; let it push you toward God for what only he can give you.
BF: One final thing, what would you say to someone listening right now who might be experiencing suicidal thoughts?
PT: Yes, if you're having a suicidal ideation, that means these thoughts are around you a lot, get help. Talk to friends, talk to family; tell them what you're going through. Call your pastor. The worst thing in those moments is to have your voice the only voice in your life. You need the voice of others to help you, to hold you, to comfort you, to give you reason for living. And so, I think the more you're surrounded by people, the more you're surrounded by people who love you and care for you and really want you to live, the better off it is. So, if you're plagued with thoughts of suicide, being alone is the worst thing for you.
BF: Thanks, Paul. If you didn't know about Paul's story of physical suffering, you can learn more in his book, Suffering, Gospel Hope When Life Doesn't Make Sense. That resource doesn't talk about suicide, but it does explore six traps that we're tempted to fall into during times of suffering and six gospel comforts that can radically change how we understand, experience, and respond to the suffering that has or surely will come your way. That book is available at paultripp.com.
We'll be back next week with another episode of “Ask Paul Tripp.” And remember, there's no valley of suffering so deep that God's grace in Jesus isn't deeper. God bless you.
You have permission to print, repost, share, distribute, and translate this resource as long as you credit Paul Tripp as the teacher, do not charge for this resource, and do not alter the content in any way. If you require an exception or special permission, please email Teaching@PaulTripp.com.
