Transcript
Ben Fallon: Welcome back to the “Ask Paul Tripp Podcast.” We're going to test your memory today, Paul, and take you all the way back to August 22nd, 1971, a pretty important date on your life calendar. It's when you got married to your wife of now over 50 years, Luella Jackson.
A listener asks, “What song did you and Luella dance to at your wedding?” Do you remember?
Paul Tripp: Well, we were married at a Baptist church in Hartsville, South Carolina, deep conservative Baptist Christianity. There was no dancing at our reception. So, the answer is very boring, “We didn't dance.”
And receptions were very different; there was no sit-down meal. There was a table full of small bites of things, and the huge production that receptions are now where the bride and groom, and then all of the party, are ceremoniously introduced, and then there's this first dance with the dad and all that stuff. That just didn't exist. So, I'm demonstrating that I am truly ancient.
BF: If they didn't allow dancing, did they at least allow you to have a best man and a groom's party?
PT: Yes, we had six on each side; most of them were college friends. My best man was Doug Stromberg, and he was a long-term friend in college. And yes, we had a wonderful wedding. It was very formal; we wore the English morning coats, the tails with the cravat and the waistcoat, the vest. So yes, it was a great celebratory formal; lots of beautiful Bach music in our wedding, so it was great. And we wrote our vows, but we were very careful to write biblical vows. And so, yes.
BF: So, let's rewind the clock even further back, back to when you first laid eyes on Luella. Most people have heard or read your story about you seeing her in the lunch line at Columbia Bible College and how, for you, it was love at first sight. Yet for Luella, it was just first sight. Were you actively looking for someone to marry, or was it just an initial physical attraction that got your attention?
PT: I was not searching for a bride. I was 17 years old, my first year of college. I went to Christian college because my parents wanted me to do that at least for a couple years. I wanted to be a journalist, to write. And I knew I had communication abilities because I decided to be in a speech team in high school, and I was a champion in that, but some form of communication work I was thinking about. I wasn't thinking about ministry, and I surely wasn't thinking about settling down with somebody
Luella first attracted me physically. She was beautiful and stylish. And then as we spent time together, we just connected in so many different way, and she thought I was a crazy man because of my sense of humor and whatnot, but once asked me what I wanted to do with my life and I said, “I don't care; I just want to be where God wants me.”
And she thought, “Now I'm interested.” And so, it really developed, which I think is a wonderful thing, it really developed as a friendship before it was a romance.
BF: And lastly, to conclude today's episode, what counsel would you have for young men or women who have a desire to get married? How should they be thinking about looking for a potential godly spouse?
PT: Yes, I don't think you should shop for a spouse like you shop for a new lamp. I think there's something weird about that. I think if you're hanging with godly people your age and developing friendships that are across gender lines, not just all your friends are men or all your friends are women, but you have real friendships with women, I mean, I just think that's a much better way of getting to know a person. And, you're just letting God do his work in bringing hearts together, and you're not frenetic, and you're not manipulative, and you're not keeping a scorecard that treats human beings like objects, and I just think it's a much better way. Just develop good, if you're a man, good friendships with women. If you're a woman, good friendships with single men that aren't romantic, that are part of your life in the Christian community, and out of that, I think really solid relationships. I'm thankful that Luella was my friend before she was my lover.
BF: Sorry, one more follow-up question, Paul, and then I'll let you go. You just told the story of how you got Luella's attention by saying, “I just want to be where God wants me.” Was there a similar moment for you where Luella said or did something, and you knew in that moment, “This is a woman I want to marry?”
PT: Oh yes, she just was always, “I want to be in some aspect of the Lord's service.” I mean, it just came out of her all the time, and it was clear, it was sincere, it was a very important value for her to serve the Lord in some way. So, I'm seeing this hip, beautiful young woman, but inside has real character and real love for the Lord and a desire to live a life that is useful in his hands. And neither one of us were at a place where we knew what that meant, but we wanted to be open, and she then felt like, because that was her desire, that because that was my desire too, she could be open with me because of that.
Listen, you want to involve yourself with a person who loves Jesus infinitely more than they love you!
BF: Thank you, Paul. May you and Luella celebrate many more happy years together, and we would love for you, listener, to experience a healthy, vibrant, Christ-centered marriage for decades like Paul and Luella have by God's grace.
To that end, Paul Tripp Ministries has several resources available if you're thinking about marriage or you're currently married. The first is a free three-session live stream video conference called “Free from Debt.” Some surveys say that the number one issues couples fight about in marriage is money, but financial debt might not be the biggest threat to your relationship. Paul Tripp would say that relational debt is, or a lack of confession and forgiveness. You can access this free video teaching on marriage and money by visiting freefromdebt.live. That's freefromdebt.live, ‘L-I-V-E.’ It's because ‘.com’ is not available.
And then Paul has written a book titled Marriage, Six Gospel Commitments That Every Couple Needs to Make. You might know this as What Did You Expect? Redeeming the Realities of Marriage, but we recently changed the cover and the title as well as added a bonus chapter and a discussion guide, but the core chapters all remain the same. You can find that book at paultripp.com/marriage.
If you ever have any questions about a resource, just email us, store@paultripp.com. Ashley would love to point you towards something that connects the transforming power of Jesus Christ to whatever it is in life that you are facing. Thanks for listening, and we'll be back with you again soon.
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