Transcript
Ben Fallon: In the last episode of “Ask Paul Tripp,” Episode 15, Paul, you shared how Luella was faithful in confronting your life-dominating anger. Part of this redemptive story also includes your brother, Tedd, and again, one of the most common questions we've received since you started to tell this story about your anger is your interaction with Tedd. “How did he expose your anger to you, and more specifically, what were those, ‘magic words’ that he spoke to help you see your anger with accuracy for the first time?”
Paul Tripp: So the context here is important. Tedd and I had been together on a conference weekend that was talking about the importance of the spiritual life of a pastor. And so, we're driving home, about a two-hour drive, and Tedd said to me, “You know, we probably ought to make what we've heard personal to our own lives,” and he said, jokingly, “Why don't you start?”
And what he did was he started generally asking me how I thought things were going in my marriage, and were there areas of trouble, and how did I feel about those areas? And so, he started generally, but as I was answering, got more and more specific. And as I thought about that, I have thought about this many times, that Tedd probably had already seen things, we were around one another enough that gave him an indication that something was going on that shouldn't be.
But here's what I think is important to say, “It was not Tedd's words, but the conviction of the Holy Spirit that opened me up.” Tedd's words were the vehicle, but the conviction that hit me and the insight that hit me went way beyond Tedd's words. I mean, I don't know when I have felt in a moment so utterly exposed and shocked at what I was seeing. And that just tells me that faltering human words, your best attempt to help somebody, the Holy Spirit can take a hold of and do way, way greater than you would ever be able to do and take conviction way deeper that you would ever have the insight to take it. And that’s how God works.
I mean, Goliath was brought down by a couple of stones. Gideon defeated the powerful Midianite army with, (What?) 300 guys. The Red Sea was parted by the words of Moses. God always does greater through us than we would imagine or think! And so that happened in this moment. And it means that you don't always have to have all the right questions. You have to be willing to step into awkward, difficult, tense moments, the very kind of moments none of us want ever to step into because God can take those moments and do way better than we would imagine.
I want to say something else. Don't ever run from the conviction of the Holy Spirit. It's one of the most painful things you'll experience. And I experienced that pain for the next several months. But it's the pain of grace! When you are convicted, you are not being condemned; your condemnation was carried by Jesus. God is wrapping arms of love around you and drawing you near again. Conviction is an act of love! And so, it doesn't make any sense to resist it because on the other side of conviction, the sight that you're given, the grief that you experience, the confession that you make, the repentance that you make, on the other side of all that is just a harvest of good fruit.
And here's why we want to step into this. If I'm around somebody who's trapped in a life-dominating sin, here's what I need to know. You can't grieve what you don't see. And you can't confess what you don't grieve. And you can't repent of what you haven't confessed. I needed an instrument of seeding in my life; somebody God would use to give me sight because I was blind. If you, during these years of my anger, had characterized me as an angry person, I would have been offended by that. I didn't see myself as an angry person–that was the big, huge problem! And so, God raises up instruments of seeing.
If you want a passage, it's Hebrews 3:12-13, that talks about “exhorting one another daily, lest anybody be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.” I had a hardened heart! What did that mean? I had a heart that wasn't moldable, wasn't open, wasn't sightful, and I needed that instrument of seeing, and God used Tedd to drive that conviction into my heart and change my life.
BF: I'd like to point out two resources available from Paul Tripp Ministries that might be helpful as a follow-up to this episode. The first, like I mentioned last episode, is How to Be Good and Angry, if you're dealing with anger in your own life. That's available at paultripp.com/anger. But then, if you want to be used by God as an instrument of redemption in the life of someone else; I would encourage you to check out Paul's book, Instruments in the Redeemer's Hands. It lays out a four-part model called “Love, Know, Speak, Do,” that helps you to love a person intentionally, know them at the heart level, speak the truth in love into their life, and help them to do what God has called them to do in terms of heart and life change. This book is available at paultripp.com/instruments.
And every time I recommend a resource through Paul Tripp Ministries, it's not for the purpose of sales or revenue. We're a not-for-profit organization funded almost exclusively by generous donors. We're simply providing recommendations of resources that can further connect the “transforming power of Jesus Christ to everyday life.” May God bless you and have a wonderful weekend!
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