Transcript
Ben Fallon:Thanks for joining us on Ask Paul Tripp. Today's question is about Santa Claus, and if you have a question, not about Santa Claus, but if you have a question for Paul, you can submit it online at paultripp.com/ask or email Ask@paultripp.com. Here's the question, “My husband and I are struggling with the topic of Santa, and I'm curious on your opinion. How did you approach Santa with your kids, and what would you recommend?” And then she goes on to explain that she and her husband disagree about how to approach the topic. So, “What advice would you give, Paul, when a mother and father have different perspectives on a parenting issue?”
Paul Tripp: I want to say there is just nothing wrong with traditional holiday myths and stories that become part of a family tradition. In fact, every family has those; some are universal, some are not. Those are, in ways, a beautiful part of family life. The story of Santa Claus is really very interesting because it goes back to a Greek bishop named Saint Nicholas in the 4th century, who was known for his generosity and acts of charity, especially to the poor. I think that's a wonderful story to tell your children. It's beautiful to care about those who don't have what I have, and even if it's just one time of the year, how about taking the Saint Nicholas story into action and every Christmas you wrap gifts and, as a family, you take them to places where there are poor children. I actually know a family that has nailed that into the Christmas tradition. And so, the Santa tradition has taken on something that's really beautiful and really fits with the generosity story of Scripture.
There are a number of cautions I want to give about these secular myths and stories. Here's the first one, this is the most obvious. You don't want anything to distract from or replace your family celebration of the wonderful story of the incarnation of Jesus. In Jesus, God gives us the Gift of gifts. The greatest gift God gives to us is the gift of himself. In the Christmas story, we find the giver is the gift. It's a beautiful thing. It's a great opportunity to teach your children why Jesus needed to be born. It's a great time to teach them about the humility of Jesus, his willingness to come into this fallen world and suffer. It's a great time to help them to think about that the tree, that the great Christmas story looks to, is not the one in our living room that we decorate so beautifully. It's the tree of Calvary that was adorned with the broken body of Jesus. So, this season offers you wonderful opportunities to talk about the gospel with your children. Yes, have fun with those other stories and traditions, reindeer and snowmen and Santa, but don't let them overwhelm the beauty and significance of the Christmas story.
There's another concern. I hate one of the modern twists on the Santa story. I hate it right down to my toes. It's the legalism of that Santa story that this Santa is a harsh judge who all year long is watching you, and if you haven't been good in his eyes, you get nothing. What a wonderful story to put in the hearts of our children who already struggle with fear! In this story, there's no forgiveness, there's no fresh starts, there's no grace. It's just, “Do good, get something; do bad, get punished!” And it is in that way the polar opposite. You know, “You better watch out, you better not pout because this red suited judge is coming to town.” Come on! What a thing to plant in the hearts of your children. So be careful how you even tell that story. You see, because the Christmas story is the opposite, it's not God moving to us because we're good; it's a good God moving toward us precisely because we're not good.
Another concern for me is the utter materialism of the Western culture Christmas that can completely overwhelm and distract from the spiritual meaning and purpose of the season. You see, Jesus came, not because of my material wants and needs, but because of my spiritual wants and needs, and we want to hold that out.
Finally, don't attribute things to Santa that aren't true. He doesn't happen to be all-seeing and all-knowing. Sure, talk about Saint Nick and his generosity. Sure, enjoy Santa cookies and decorations, but keep Jesus and the grace of his coming to earth to rescue us central.
Now, in many of the issues that you'll face as parents, you, as a wife, or you as a husband, won't land at the same place all the time. God doesn't always grow us in the same way and doesn't grow us at the same pace. He gives us a variety of experiences that makes us come at issues different ways. He gives us different experiences or personalities that make us approach things differently. So, it's very, very important that you deal with your differences, not with irritation as if this person is in the way of what obviously is right. Deal with your differences with appreciation and grace. You are different because of God's sovereign choice. My dear wife, Luella, was raised in Cuba and was raised as a missionary kid. I was raised in Toledo, Ohio by a man who sold sporting goods. Our backgrounds and experiences could not be more different.
In personality type, I do everything as quickly as I can; I'm quick on the trigger. Luella is methodical and slow and careful. So, we're not always going to land at the same place at the same time. And so, we have to be willing to give time, to be patient, to not assume that our way is always the best way, to be willing to listen to the concerns and insights experiences of another person. If, in a marriage, the will of only one person always lives and the opinion of one person always lives, it's probably not a really healthy marriage. Now I may have to make a final decision, but I want to do that in a way that has gotten all the benefit I can get from the wonderful experience, personality of my wife that God so lovingly has chosen to live alongside of me, not because he wants to irritate me, because he loves me and he knows what I need.
BF: Thank you, Paul, and if you're looking for a gospel-rich resource to read with your kids during the Christmas season, we would recommend Paul's devotional, Come, Let Us Adore Him. It's a daily Advent devotional, and each day includes a theme to focus on with your child. Now, Santa isn't addressed in the devotional, but this thirty-one-day resource for December, can help you and your kids focus on the reason for the season, that is, the birth of Jesus Christ. You can learn more at paultripp.com.
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