Transcript
One of the humbling things that I had to face in the last eleven months -- I'm still facing it -- that was in ways, embarrassing, was how much of my joy, my confidence had nothing to do with God. It had to do with the fact that for my age, I was a very physically healthy person.
I Do Not Ever Remember Being Tired
I've said to many people, "You know, before I got sick, I don't ever remember being tired." I went to bed at night just because people told me to. I used to actually say that sleep was a necessary interruption of an otherwise productive day. And when I was barely able to walk across the room, when I took my whole ministry schedule and crumpled it up and threw it away because I couldn't do it, it was very spiritually hard for me.
I would like to say that I exercised remarkable faith through all of that. I didn't. It was a struggle and what began to be revealed to me is how much what got me up in the morning was my awe of me; and when that was taken away, it was very, very hard.
Now, here's how God's grace works, though. And I think this is again, just one of those miracles of God's grace that shouldn't be missed. If you're God's child and things you're depending on are taken away, your heart begins to run toward what can't be taken away.
And I can say I have more hope and confidence in God than I've ever had in my life because in His grace, He took away what was in the way. Do I want to go through that again? I would like not to, but I am deeply grateful that He loves me enough to do that.
