Transcript
Well, we talked about surrender. We've talked about purpose. We've talked about discipline. There's a fourth essential word for that kind of family that all of us would love to have. It's patience. You know, if there is anything that God calls us to, it's the willingness to wait. We're called to wait.
David's Prayer After Destroying His Family
You say, "Well, Paul, why is that so essential to family life? Well, there's a prayer prayed by David after he had destroyed his family and the family of another in a moment where he indulged a dark sin of his heart, and he prays these words. "Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me."
In that moment, David gets to the heart of the hope for the family. What's the heart of the hope for the family? What's the heart? It's that God would do in us what we couldn't do for ourselves. I not only have no ability to change my own heart, I have no ability whatsoever, zip, nada, none to change my wife's heart. I have no ability whatsoever to change the hearts of my children, none.
And you see, if you think that you have that power, then you attempt change by accusatory words, by threats, by bulging eyes and bulging veins and a pointed finger, by an inflammatory vocabulary. And when you do those things, then you expect an immediate turn.
We Have All Experienced This Inability
We've all experienced this inability. Parents, you've experienced their children. When you all have what you think is a very good conversation with your children, but they don't end by saying, "You're right. I'm a sinner. I have idols in my heart. I want to kneel down right now and submit to the grace of the Savior."
You probably never heard your children say that because heart change is very seldom an event. It's most often a process and we have to submit ourselves to God's process in the way that He, in His power and wisdom, will work that change where that change needs to take place, the change that only He can create, the change that is only ever the result of His grace. His timing is always right. The winds of the Spirit blow in conviction and rescue in a guilty conscience at just the right moment.
There [are] two things that you need to understand. One, if we're ever going to have the families that we need, all of us, parents, husband and wives, children need heart change. That's the first thing. The second thing is we have no ability to ignite or control that process of change.
The Lord Is Present With You
Maybe you're thinking, "Paul, that doesn't sound very hopeful." Well, here's the hope: that your Lord will never send you to a situation without being present there with you. He will never call you to a task without gracing you with what you need for that task. You and I are never anything more than tools of change in the hands of a God of powerful change.
But in order to be that tool, we have to be willing to wait. God's promises are sure. He stands with perfect holiness and unchallenged sovereignty behind every one of His promises. He will do everything He has promised to do, but He will do it in His time. If you're unwilling to wait, here's what will always happen.
You will try to do what only God can do and because you don't have God's tools, you will use defective human tools. And what you're trying to transform, you will hurt and damage. It never works. And so tomorrow, you'll be called to wait. You'll see something in yourself or you'll see something in another. You may even speak to that thing. You may, if it's a child, discipline and correct, but the one thing you can't do is change their hearts. For that, you have to wait on the One who is wise and faithful and present and good, whose timing is always right.
