Transcript
Ben Fallon: Today's question, Paul, comes from Sarah, who says:
It's such a pleasure to write to you and to listen to the podcast. I'm a single mother, and I'm in a situation where a friend of mine has invited me to her Bible study made up of mostly her family members. I've been going for the past two years, and occasionally some rather heretical things are said. I think it's time for me to confront them and bow out gracefully. An example would be that it was said that hell is not eternal because the Bible never claims it to be, and sinners only go for a time, and where they go afterwards is not clear. So how is the best way to Scripturally handle this? I want to have a conversation with both the individuals that I've established a relationship with, my friends, and then also the leader, who is a male.
Paul Tripp: So, the question of confronting heresy or having a theological debate, there are just so many variables in this question that I have to talk about before I give this answer. If I'm confronting heresy or I'm going to have a theological discussion, I want to remember what it says in Ephesians 4, that I should consider who this person is, I could consider what the problem is, and I should consider how best then to communicate, so I give grace to the hearer.
What is your relationship to this person? Do you know them well? Are you sure this person is a believer? Do they have reason to trust you? Is the issue at hand a foundational theological issue or a secondary issue that many Christians disagree on? Is this person trying to convince other people of their viewpoint? Think with me for a moment. Let's say I'm in a room and two people have said something heretical to me. One person I know very well, have a good relationship with, we have talked about important things many times. The other person doesn't know me at all. Which conversation is going to be easier? It's very easy to answer. So, understanding the nature of your relationship with this person really has a lot to do with the way you're going to have this conversation.
Now let me talk about the danger of heresy. There's no better place to go than the book of Jude because Jude is all about the danger of heresy inside the church. And let me say, “The greatest dangers to the church are always inside the church, not outside the church.” It's that drifting from the clarity and the truthfulness of the gospel. And Jude has some of these, almost humorous, word pictures when he talks about heresy. He says a heresy is a “hidden reef.” Hidden reefs are dangerous because if your boat crashes into them, you're going to sink. It's “shepherds who only feed themselves.” I love that one. So, what you're getting out there doesn't feed anybody. “Waterless clouds,” no rain is going to fall. “Fruitless trees.” “Wild waves of the sea, casting the foam of their shame on the shore.” “Wandering stars, for whom the gloom of utter darkness…” All he's saying is, “Heresy will not fill your heart with anything good and will take you some places that are bad.” I would just recommend a couple passages, Matthew 7:15-20; 2 Peter 2:1-3, really important passages to look at when you're thinking about or confronting heresy.
So, here's my direction. Before you confront a person with heresy or before you have a theological debate, I would say, “Consult with somebody in your community, whether it's an elder or a pastor or a mature Christian who you know is theologically aware and biblically literate.” Make sure that what you think you know, you really know, or what you believe is really what Scripture teaches. Be willing to check your own heart and your own mind before you check somebody else's! Make sure you have understood the issue of debate clearly.
Second thing I would say, “Don't first confront the person publicly.” Often, people are way more defensive in public because they're feeling the embarrassment of eyes and ears on them. So, love the person enough to approach them, to confront them privately. Often, I'll hear somebody talk and I'll just mark it off, “I need to talk to this person sometime.” Come in love; be patient and gracious. Remember, we're all still students of the Word of God. We all are tempted to believe things that are not true. We're all people in-process. None of us knows everything that we need to know. Even the truths that we know, we're still learning more deeply.
Next, be committed to more than one conversation. Often the first conversation is a little bit awkward, a little bit tense, hard. But the more you have conversations, the less that happens and the more emotions calm, and you are able to have a better conversation. Be specific about what is wrong in that person's thinking. Don't talk in generalities, be specific.
Next, come armed with the clear teaching of the Bible. What a person who's taken in some heresy or may have understood a part of theology improperly, what they don't need is your opinion–your opinion doesn't actually matter. What matters is what God has clearly revealed in his Word! Your interpretations don't matter; what matters is the clear teaching of God's Word! Also, if the person is espousing heresy, it's proper to give them warnings. And I've given some passages that warn against heresy and how it distorts the gospel.
Finally, if it looks like this person won't hear you and if they're in serious error and you've gone repeatedly and they're holding on to what the Bible says is not true, then you need to take it to the church. Go to your pastor and get help. Go to one of your elders and get help. The problem is this person has influence. You know why they have influence? Because they're a human being and they live in a relationship with other people. Within their church, they have people who are their friends. They're going to affect people with what they believe. And so, it is an issue of importance, and it is an issue for the church. The church is God's ordained guardian of the truth, and it should be the final arbiter of heresy. I believe in the church, and ultimately, heresy is the responsibility of the church.
Now, if it's just a theological debate, have that debate with patience and love. Don't say things that are self-righteous, don't be needlessly condemning, don't have a “high-road-low-road” conversation that is a way of shaming the other person. There are biblical truths that are hard to handle and hard to understand. How can a good God have anything to do with suffering? That's a big theological issue. And it's easy to understand how a person may not be able to put together the sovereignty of God and the presence of evil. Theologians have discussed that for literally thousands of years. So, when you're having those conversations, have them with patience and grace and always be willing to learn. In any theological conversation, the Great Teacher is trying to teach both people in the room. And be open to a deeper level of understanding and learning; let what you think is absolutely true be challenged and learn from those challenges. Learn more about what you believe is true. Be thankful to God for those conversations.
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