Transcript
Ben Fallon: Paul, today we have a question about what it means to “love your neighbor.” The second great command, straight from the mouth of Christ is, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” The Apostle Paul says in Galatians and also in Romans, “the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command.” James calls it “the royal law.” It's inescapable! All over the New Testament, this call to love your neighbor. So, here's the question for you today.
How is one supposed to handle neighbors who have no interest in reciprocating the hospitality, love and outreach that you try to show? What do you do if things start to get hostile and they clearly want nothing to do with you? Is it okay to stop interacting with them and trying to evangelize them? Our friends told us that we need to keep loving our neighbor, but it's starting to get uncomfortable, and we have little kids that we don't want to be around our neighbors. Is it sinful or are we being unbiblical if we cut off relationship with next door and don't interact with them anymore?
Paul Tripp: When I hear situations like this that are very hard and very uncomfortable, nobody would want them in their life, I'm again remembering how completely practical the Bible is; how the Bible speaks into the real-life experiences that we face in this fallen world. When I think about this question, I immediately think of Romans 12:18, it immediately came to mind. It says this, “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” Again, “If possible, so far as it depends on you.”
Now, on the surface, this passage is a call to live at peace with my neighbors. I should want that, and I should do things that create that. But more importantly, it's a reminder that there are limits to what I can do. I can't single-handedly create peace with my neighbor because peace is a commitment of two parties. You can't have peace just with one party. And so, the Bible says, “Do everything in your realm of possibility, do everything that depends on you, but you must realize that you have no ability to change the heart and character of your neighbor–none!”
Now, I want to be very practical about what this means. This means you just can't be friends with everybody. Not everybody is going to want you in their life. Not everybody is going to find you attractive or interesting. There are people, who because of things they've experienced in their family or in other relationships, that just don't want to be bothered. It never works to force yourself on people, it never works! It drives people further away, and it makes you appear as controlling and demanding and entitled and unattractive. You should never be unkind. You should never be vindictive. You should never return evil for evil.
What should you give yourself to at all times? Well, the Bible's clear: “Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.” That's what you are called to. You should do that with anybody and everybody: “Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.” And there comes a point when it's clear that this person doesn't want you in their life.
At that point, there is nothing you can do but in the occasional moments when you bump into that person, be loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle, and self-controlled. And you never let go of that, but you understand this, you are not the people that God is going to use in these people's lives unless in those momentary moments, they are amazed by the fact that you continue to love them, even though they have been anything but loving to you.
BF: If you want to spend a bit more time with Paul Tripp exploring what it means to love your neighbor and be a light in your neighborhood, Paul recorded a number of short videos for a series called, The Gospel in Your Neighborhood. You can find these at paultripp.com/neighborhood.
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