When you think of confessing your sin, what images come to mind? I think that most of us kind of hate confession. We dislike admitting that we are wrong, and sometimes we defend ourselves even when we know we're wrong, and often we work to erect self-atoning arguments that make our sin acceptable to us. The guy at the mall will say that he's not lusting; he's just a man who enjoys beauty. The gossiper will say, "I wasn't gossiping, I was just giving a prayer request." And the parent who screams at their child says, "That was not sinful anger. I was just being like one of God's prophets - 'Thus says the Lord.'" We try to do everything we can to not confess.
But what Psalm 32 - which is about the blessing of confession and forgiveness - says to us is that confession is a blessing! Let me read:
Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven,
whose sin is covered.
Blessed is the man against whom the Lord counts no iniquity,
and in whose spirit there is no deceit.
For when I kept silent, my bones wasted away
through my groaning all day long.
For day and night your hand was heavy upon me;
my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer. Selah
I acknowledged my sin to you,
and I did not cover my iniquity;
I said, "I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,"
and you forgave the iniquity of my sin. Selah
Here's what you need to understand. It is very clear in the Old Testament and the New Testament that God has provided a way for sin to be confessed and forgiveness to be granted. Confession of sin isn't a prelude to judgment. Let me say that again: confession of sin isn't a prelude to judgment; confession of sin is a way to enter into the grace of God's forgiveness. We should never allow ourselves to develop patterns of minimizing or denying our sin, because any moment you minimize your sin, you are then devaluing God's grace. We should never get used to shifting the blame for our sin to someone else. We should never allow ourselves to be more concerned about the sin of others than we our own. I think a lot of us are real good at confessing other people's sins, but not too committed to doing that ourselves. We should always be willing to admit that our greatest problem in life exist inside of us and not outside of us, and the Bible names that - sin. I am my biggest problem!
And why do I confess? Because I need help, because I can run from a situation, I can run from a relationship, but I can't run from me! I find when I try to run from me, I always show up with me at the end of the run - it doesn't work! And so, I need to be rescued from me. I need rescuing, forgiving, transforming, empowering grace. And I enter into that grace by confession; confession is an admission that I need divine help.
Listen, there's a big contrast in this Psalm between the moment when the writer of the Psalm is silent, refusing to confess, and the beauty of the moment when he confesses his sin. The silence of denial never goes anywhere good. Making yourself feel good about what God says is not good never produces good things in your life. But you have a God of grace who says, "You come to me, and you speak truth, and I will forgive, and I will bless!"
Questions for Personal Reflection or Group Discussion
1. What are some sins you have minimized recently? When was the last time you defended your sin, and why? Why was your initial reaction of defend easier than confession?
2. How do you feel inside when you hear the word "confession"? What sort of images pop up in your mind when you think about the process of confession to God? If those pictures in your mind are negative, why do you think they are?
3. When you think about the grace of God, what positive images pop up in your mind? How do those pictures in your mind make you want to move closer to God? How have you previously experienced that confession is a prelude to entering into God's grace?
4. Think about the relationships in your life where you struggle and have a tendency to blame the other person for the conflict in your relationship. Maybe things are extremely difficult (or have previously been difficult) with a spouse, child, friend, parent or neighbor. How have the negative patterns of behavior on your part contributed to the fracturing of those difficult relationships? Are you willing to admit right now that your greatest problem in life exists inside of you? How can your admission of personal sin be a gateway to reconciliation with the broken relationships in your life? Take a moment right now and confess to God that you need his rescuing, forgiving, transforming, and empowering grace. Then pray that God would restore your broken earthly relationships as you move toward other people he has called you to reconcile with.
Conversation Prompts to Use with Children
For Younger Children: When you get mad at someone like your sibling or teacher or me as your parent/grandparent, what is your first reaction? Why do you think it's so easy to blame other people for our bad behavior? Why do you think it's scary to admit when we're wrong? What do you think is going on inside your heart when you struggle to admit you've done something wrong? What do you think forgiveness means? Why do you think forgiveness is something God loves to give? How can our right view of God and thoughts about forgiveness overpower our fears about admitting when we fail? Let's pray right now and admit together that we mess up all the time and need God's forgiveness. Then let's say thank you to God for the love and forgiveness he gives us because of Jesus' death on the cross.
For Older Children: Why do you think it's so easy to blame the other person after we get into an argument with them? Why might it be important to look at ourselves in any situation like that and find the areas where we have messed up? Is it possible for you to change other people's hearts? Why should we continually and primarily be asking God to change our own hearts? Do you believe that your greatest problem in life exists inside of you and not outside of you? Why or why not? When you honestly examine your own thoughts, actions, words, and motivations day-to-day, what are the ways in which you see your need for God? How can expressing that need to God actually help you grow as a follower of Christ? Why is admitting to God that you're weak and in need a good thing, not a bad thing?
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