Transcript
Well, you know you really get down to the intimacies of life when you talk about gender. You just do and you're going to end up talking about sex. So fasten your seat belt. Put on your crash helmets. This is going to be Sex 101. There may be moments of this that are not safe for work.
God's Call to a Man in the Marital Sexual Relationship
Look, what is God's call to a man in terms of the marital sexual relationship? What's the call to him as a leader? Well, you have to know I'm going to say this. The biblical description of a leader is one who is willing to serve. Who's the ultimate example of that? Jesus. Jesus didn't come to be served. He came to serve and give His life a ransom for many.
I want to make a connection for you that I think is very important to make. It's one that makes me sad that I have to make it, but I will. There today are tens of thousands, maybe hundreds of thousands of Christian men who have gone to websites today that they had no business going to.
Now, why is that so prevalent in the church? Why do we have no defense against that reality? It's because, I think, of our attitude toward our wives and toward our sexual life there. I think many men are in that marriage bed in moments of sex with no higher goal than their own pleasure.
They don't care about the pleasure of their wife. They surely don't care about the pleasure of God. And so, the body of their wife basically becomes a tool for their sexual pleasure. Their wife becomes an object. In fact, I'll say it. I think there are situations where the wife becomes little more than an instrument for the husband's masturbation.
When Sex Is Not an Act of Love
Now, if it hasn't been an act of love, if it hasn't been an act of worship and hasn't been an act of self-sacrifice, then I have no defense against this tool that will now offer me the same satisfaction because watch - my sexual life has never been about God. It's never been about loving my wife. It's only been about my pleasure and if I can find pleasure another way, why not?
I think, like anything else in life, sex is an act of worship and what should drive me in sex is not just my pleasure but, ultimately the pleasure of God, that God would be pleased by everything I do there. And what is His command to me? Love your neighbor as you love yourself. If all I care about is my pleasure, I will never treat my wife with the honor and esteem that she deserves. She will become but an object to me and she will get quickly replaced.
Now, that leaves a lot of practical questions. Who should initiate sex? The Bible just doesn't talk about that. Those are things that you have freedom to reach a comfortable culture with the person that's your wife and that takes lots of sensitivity, lots of conversation, lots of experience together as a couple. My concern is that you do not have the right to treat your wife as she's an object that God has given you for your sexual pleasure. That is a heinous, unbiblical view of your wife, and a selfish and immoral view of sexuality.
