Transcript
Ben Fallon: Paul, today's question comes from a woman whose small groups at church have only ever been mixed, men and women. She asks, “Should men and women have separate or gender-specific Bible studies or meeting times?” So, could you answer this question, but then also help us understand and apply Hebrews 10: 24-25 to our modern church setting, which says, “And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the day drawing near.” So, do you think every church should have small groups and should every Christian be in a small group of some sort?
Paul Tripp: The purpose of the church is threefold. God has ordained the church to meet my needs of ongoing instruction. I need the confrontation and the comfort of God's Word again and again and again and again; and I'll never outgrow that need. So, we gather for instruction.
The second purpose of the church is for gathered worship, that together we sing the gospel not only in worship of the Lord, but we sing it into one another's ears. When you're in corporate worship, you may not know it, but you're actually ministering to the person next to you as they hear you singing the truths of the gospel. It's a beautiful thing.
But there's a third function of the church and it is the fellowship of the body of Christ. That's the mutual ministry aspect of the body of Christ, that we have a ministry to one another. In fact, Ephesians 4 says that God gives gifts to church. He sets up pastors and teachers and evangelists so that the body of Christ would be equipped to do the work of the ministry.
Isn't that interesting? So, it means that there's a whole lot of ministry that is meant to go on from member of the body of Christ to member of the body of Christ. 1 Corinthians 12 lays that out very powerfully, that we're like a body and the eye can't say to the hand, “I don't need you.” Every part of the body is necessary. So where does that fellowship thing function? Well, it doesn't function on Sunday morning. You know, you may have a rare encounter that's lengthy, but basically, it's casual greetings, a hug here and there, and you proceed to sit down and the worship service begins.
So, the small group provides a means, a medium for the fellowship, the mutual ministry of the body of Christ to take place. I get to know you. I get to know what your needs are. I get to know your spiritual condition. I come to love you. I get to walk with you through life. And so, many of the needs of the body of Christ, comfort and encouragement and edification and physical help will happen in the small group. The pastor and elders may never know about the need because it's been taken care of by people who have walked with this person through life and know him or her well.
I think because the small groups are very, very important if I need regular fellowship in the gospel, if I need the regular ministry of brothers and sisters who have different gifts and different experiences than I do, then there must be a forum where that can regularly take place. And that's the small group.
Now, I think it's wonderful for husbands and wives to go through that together as they, as a couple, get to know other couples and begin to bond with them. And out of that becomes all kinds of ministry. Imagine how good it is for a wife who's struggling with her pregnancy to have women who know about that and call her during the week and say, “How are you doing? How can we help?” It's beautiful!
There may be times when it's worth separating out the men and separating out the women because of the kinds of things that you want to talk about that may be husband-appropriate, dad-appropriate, wife-appropriate, mom-appropriate. But I think the normal rule is it's wonderful for a couple to be together in a community of love, of mutual ministry, where edification, encouragement, comfort, and actual physical help can regularly take place. So, if the body of Christ, the church, has been ordained by God for instruction, corporate worship, and fellowship, then there needs to be a means where that third thing can happen, and the small group provides that.
You know, in the early days of my ministry, they weren't called small groups; they were called mini churches, which I thought was a great title. We've shrunk the church so we can do that third thing that the large gathering isn't able to do. I loved that title. I feel sort of sad that we've lost that name.
BF: A resource that is very helpful as you consider personal ministry and discipleship, whether it's one to one or in the context of a small group, is Paul's second ever book, Instruments in the Redeemer's Hands. If you want to love a brother or sister better, get to know them deeply, speak gospel truth into their life and help them grow in faith, check out Instruments in the Redeemer's Hands. You can learn more at paultripp.com/instruments.
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