Transcript
Ben Fallon: This question comes from Don, who has been reading your book, Awe: Why It Matters for Everything We Think, Say, and Do. “I was first introduced to Awe in my biblical counseling studies, and now I'm using it in a men's bible study with the study guide as a reference, and I was wondering if you had any specific application of Awe when dealing with aging parents.”
Another question that we've received in the past, Paul, is about caring for a Christian, maybe that's an aging parent or just an elderly brother or sister in the church, who has dementia or has lost their cognitive ability, and just doesn't seem to have that hardwired awe anymore that they once did. “What gospel comfort can we find during these difficult later years in life and for those who are terrified if and when those days might come for them?”
Paul Tripp: Well, it's hard enough to watch a parent with dementia lose their personhood; I think that's one of the saddest things for a family to go through. It's sad not to be recognized by your own parent and to see they're losing themselves, and you're watching this happen. It's perhaps even more deeply sad to watch them lose their spirituality, their God-awareness, their grace-awareness, their commitment to the Lord.
I, again, just always run to Psalm 103:13, “As a father has compassion to his children, so the LORD has compassion to those who fear him. For he knows our frame, he remembers that we are dust.” I think it's really, really important to remember that our standing before God doesn't rest on the degree of our strength or weakness, on our wisdom or foolishness, on our youth or our age, or even on our sin or obedience. Our standing is always and forever based on the perfect righteousness and acceptable sacrifice of Jesus for us.
So, how does it apply to dementia? Well, if sanity doesn't save me, there are a lot of sane people who are far, far from God; if sanity doesn't save me, the loss of sanity doesn't cause me to lose my salvation. Let me say that again, “If sanity doesn't save me, then the loss of sanity doesn't mean I'm losing my salvation, my relationship with God.” While that person is losing their awareness of God, God is near; while they're losing their sense of God's love, God is actively loving them; while they have no recognition anymore of his grace, he is still outpouring his grace to them.
The way I think about this is, imagine it's a bright sunny day and I have to go into a corner of my basement where there are no windows and it's completely black. It would be irrational to conclude and to panic that the sun was no longer shining because I'm in a situation right now where I can't experience the sun. That's what's going on. The sun of God's grace and his love and his mercy and his ongoing care is still shining as brightly in these people's life as it ever has. They're just not in a place where they can see it anymore. And that's sad that they can't. And of course, if your parents are losing their awareness and memory of everything, well, their awe of God is going to be included in that.
But here's what you can rest in. Although they may be losing their awareness of God, God could never, would never, will never lose his awareness of them. They are dear to him, and they are close to his heart. He will remain near to them and while they may not know that he's near until he's taken them home where their dementia will be no more, and with glorious awareness, they will live with him and worship him and celebrate his grace forever and ever!
BF: You can find Paul's book, Awe, in our store at paultripp.com/awe. And like Don, we would encourage you to use any of our books that come with a study guide and use those questions for a discussion in a small group, men's and women's Bible study, or a Sunday school class. Paul Tripp Ministries is making all of our resources accessible and easy to use for you as you disciple and invest in others. So, thank you for partnering with us as we connect the transforming power of Jesus Christ to everyday life.
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