Well, Psalm 78 reminds me of what I like about the Psalms; I like just the broad range of real-life topics. I've said this many times: I think the Psalms are in the Bible to keep us honest about the difficulties of faith and all the varieties which our lives are meant to be shaped by faith in God.
Well, you bump through the Psalms, and all of a sudden you come to Psalm 78, and it's about parenting. I mean, who would have thought? And so, Psalm 78 puts the question before us, "What is the essence, what is the epicenter of the job of parenting?"
I've said to many parents and many times at parenting conferences: What could be more important in all of life than the forming of a human soul, to be God's tool for the shaping of the heart of a real, actual, living, breathing human being? That's what parenting is.
It's profoundly more than exercising your power to get your children to obey. It's more than getting them through school so they can get a good job and buy a good house and find a good person to marry. It's more than teaching your children a set of behaviors that will help them to be socially acceptable. It's more than music lessons and athletic skill.
Psalm 78 really does get to the heart of what this task of parenting is all about. Let me read some verses here.
Give ear, O my people, to my teaching;
incline your ears to the words of my mouth!
I will open my mouth in a parable;
I will utter dark sayings from of old,
things that we have heard and known,
that our fathers have told us.
We will not hide them from their children,
but tell to the coming generation
the glorious deeds of the Lord, and his might,
and the wonders that he has done.
You could title Psalm 78, "Telling Secrets to Your Children." But what secrets? This Psalm says, "Here's the great secret: It's the great holy secrets of God's existence, God's character, and his work on behalf of his children. Tell your children of his power, tell your children of his glory, tell your children of his goodness and grace." This is what this Psalm is about.
You see, you have been placed on earth as a parent not just to make sure your kids get a good education and understand how to be polite in public. You're here to introduce your children to the ultimate fact of facts of the human existence. It is the existence, the character, and plan of God. Without this fact, there is no other fact in human life that can be properly evaluated and properly understood.
It's like being an accountant. If you're an accountant, and you leave one figure out in the column, you'll never get the right answer at the bottom. And if you leave God out of the human understanding, the human equation, your evaluation of life, you'll never get the right answer.
No matter what your children end up doing, if they're a philosopher or a plumber, their life will never ever be what it's meant to be without the knowledge of the character, the existence, and the plan of God. And so, parents, that's your job. Your job is to look for every opportunity to introduce your children to this fact of facts.
Now God has helped you. Because his work is able to be seen everywhere because he has embedded the revelation of His existence in his creation. I like to say it this way: You can't get up in the morning without bumping into God. Because the rising of the sun, the power of a storm, the inexhaustible wings of a hummingbird, the lumbering gait of an elephant, the grandeur of the mountains, the falling of those beautiful, multicolored leaves all point to the existence, the character, and the plan of God.
If there's anything in life your children need, they need the mystery of the existence of God unfolded to them, not just once, but every day of their lives!
Questions for Personal Reflection or Group Discussion
1. In the past, what has been your main focus in parenting? If you could boil down your parenting style and purpose, what would you say its essence would be? How has your parenting style been a reflection of your own wants, needs, and desires? What would you say has been the overall goal of your parenting as you have raised your children up to this point (don't give a "right" answer here, but an honest one based on what your day-to-day parenting looks like)?
2. What might it look like for you to shift your parenting from circumstantial and behavioral focus to "the great secret" of parenting with a God-focus? What kinds of conversations can you initiate with your kids that might help them to dwell on God's existence, character, power, glory, goodness, grace, and work in the world? Take a moment to write down an idea or two of a conversation starter with each of those God attributes as the heading and then purposefully plan out an initiation with your child(ren) to engage with them. And don't be afraid to do trial and error with these talks...just because one conversation may not go the way you want it, don't abandon the idea of approaching that heading again from a different perspective or talking point.
3. How can you purposefully weave in stories or talking points into your conversations with your kids that illustrate how God has helped you in your neediness? In what ways can you intentionally unpack the beauty of the gospel to your kids by showing them how God has changed you and is continuing to change you? In what ways do you currently need to change and yield to the power of God's Spirit in order to be a living, breathing example of the Lord's work in your life? How might that change be a catalyst for growth and development in the hearts and minds of your children?
Conversation Prompts to Use with Children
For Younger Children:
• What are some things you and I can learn about God as we look at and study the beauty of nature (think of sunsets, trees, animals, stars, flowers, oceans, cloud formations, etc.)? How does God show us his existence through nature? His power? His creativity? His love?
• When you think about your own life, can you give me an example of how God helped you and showed you that he was there for you? Can you think about a time when you knew God was powerful? Tell me about a time when you knew that God loved you...what was going on in that time of your life when you knew God's love was true?
• How do we know that something like God's grace (undeserved favor toward you) exists in the world? Can you think of any specific examples from your life or something you may have seen in someone else's life that show God's grace?
• How have you seen God working in my life in a way that shows his goodness? His power? His grace? What would be one thing I could change in my life that would help you to see that God actually was working on me?
For Older Children:
• What would you say has been the main thing I've focused on with you as I've raised you up until now? How has that been good for you? How has what I've focused on been difficult for you? What do you think should be the most important thing I stress to you as you grow up?
• What would you say if I told you that I want to shift the main focus of my parenting toward God and his character? Is there a way that we could keep talking about God, his power, his goodness, his grace, and his work in the world that would be most interesting to you? I have a few ideas, but could you maybe share some ideas you come up with on how to do that?
• How have you seen God working in my life in a way that shows his goodness? His power? His grace? What would be one thing I could change in my life that would help you to see that God actually was working on me? How might change in my life affect your view of God and his power? Why do you think the gospel is the only true source of power to provide us with lasting change?
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