Well, I want to read for you the first several verses of 1 Peter 3.
Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external-the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear-but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.
I want to begin by saying two things. One, for every institution God created, He established an organizing structure, a government if you would, that's true in marriage; that's true in the church; that's true in the human community. That organizing structure is a visible representation of the authority of God. That is an independent authority; it's an ambassadorial authority.
And this passage that I've just read is also not a gender value rating passage. It's not that wives somehow are less valuable and less important in the eyes of God than a husband is; there's nothing in this passage that would ever communicate that.
There's a third thing; this passage cannot be reduced to just a 'who's in charge' passage because it's so much more than that, way more. Really what this passage is, is about God's plan for the character of a wife's heart.
Listen to what it talks about. First of all, she's meant by God to have heart of willing submission; that God has set up an organizational structure in the family, and He's called the woman to participate willingly in that structure. Here's the thing about some submission. If you have to force submission, it means the person is not submitting. Submission is always a willing, joyful expression of my heart.
One of the words in the New Testament that's used for submission is actually defined by 'a willingness to be persuaded.' I love that, that I don't always have to have my own way; I don't always have to be in charge; I'm willing to be persuaded by the leadership of another.
There's a second thing, it's a willingness of the heart to be part of God's redemptive work in the life of your spouse, that I want to live in such a way that God's truth, God's gospel, relationship with Jesus is made attractive. So, it's a call again for the wife to live with a higher agenda than her own personal happiness. It's an emphasis on the heart versus appearance, that I don't define myself just by how I look. And we live in an appearance-obsessed culture, and this warning is so good that God doesn't just look on the outside appearance, He looks on the heart.
And I just want to say that when it talks about a "gentle and quiet spirit," He's not asking you to be a 'mousy woman.' Those two words (gentle and quiet spirit) are used to define Jesus too. Jesus was gentle; Jesus had a quiet spirit, "When threatened, He did not threaten return." This is a woman that hopes in God; bottom line for what she's hooked her life to is God. She's committed to do good no matter what.
And she is "free from fear." Now, I think that's a beautiful set of characteristics, willing to be submissive, willing to be part of God's redemptive work, more concerned about the character of the heart than the appearance of the body, hopes in God, committed to do good, freedom from fear. Wouldn't you like to be that person? Well, I want to say there's grace for this!
