This past Sunday, August 22, Luella and I celebrated fifty years of marriage. Our five decades together have been rich and exciting. We have not experienced too many dull days. We love being with one another, and we love celebrating shared life.

But our story isn’t one of marital success. If you could watch a video of our life, you would soon realize that we have not “arrived.” Love of self still gets in the way of love for God and one another. And when it does, our marriage suffers. There are still times when we have greater trust in our instincts than we do in God’s wisdom. And when we do, our relationship suffers the results of our foolishness.

I don’t have any personal brilliance to offer you. Fifty years of marriage is a testimony to two things: God’s powerful, transforming grace and the life-rearranging wisdom found within the pages of his Word.

As Luella and I rest in God’s grace, we are called to give grace to one another. As we celebrate God’s wisdom, we must be willing to let that wisdom be our moment-by-moment guide as we relate and respond to each other.

In these two things, you will find hope and real change for your marriage.

Matrimony is much more than
an event
a celebration
invited guests
gorgeous gowns
good food
loads of gifts
honeymoon destinations
stepping over new thresholds.
Marriage is a very long
journey
one hundred thousand little
steps
taken hand-in-hand
with an intimate fellow
traveler.

I am now looking
back
at a very long journey
fifty years
not lived year by year
month by month
day by day
hour by hour
but moment by moment.
This long journey of love
isn’t set by four big
leaps
but by mundane
seemingly unnoticeable
seemingly inconsequential
seemingly unimportant
seemingly forgetful
steps
each one emerging from the
heart
each one a gauge of your
love
each one a piece of determining
what your journey will
be
where your marriage will go.

Along the way I have learned
that marriage is not a comfortable
journey
it is a sacrificial journey
designed by the Lord of
marriage
to be a transformational
journey.
Along the way marriage exposes your
heart
with all of its
brokenness
weakness
immaturity
foolishness
and sin.
Marriage dredges up past
trouble
you worked in denial to
bury.
The bumpy places of
brokenness
are the places where
romantic ideals
die
and true
humble
serving
confessing
gracious
forgiving
patient
love grows.
The places on the journey
we would like to
avoid
are the exact places where the
Lord of love
works to make us
willing to do love’s
work
so we will experience love’s
joy.

I have taken one hundred thousand
steps
with my
hero
companion
counselor
motivator
muse and
friend.
There have been moments
when I made her journey
hard
but she has met me with
grace.
No one we’ve met along the
way
has more pictured to me the love of
Jesus.
No one has offered me more of his
grace.
I am thankful for this long journey of
love
because through it
I have not just come to prize the love of
Luella
but the love of my Savior even
more.

God bless,

Paul David Tripp

Reflection Questions

1.What milestone have you recently celebrated that is only a testimony to God’s grace and wisdom in your life?

2. Are you tempted to take credit for this milestone or achievement in any way? What are the dangers that could result from pride and entitlement?

3. How did the love of self recently get in the way of love for God and others? How did your life and relationships suffer as a result?

4. Who can you give grace to another person this week, not because they are deserving, but because you are a recipient of that same grace? Be specific.

5. When was the last time you trusted in your instincts and understanding rather than relying on the wisdom of God’s Word? What was the result?

6. What mundane opportunities do you have upcoming that will require the moment-by-moment guide of the Word of God? How can you prepare for these opportunities and challenges by studying the Scriptures?