Transcript
Here's something, I think, that we just don't think about much, but has huge impact on the way you parent your children. If you're not resting in your identity in Christ, you will look for identity in your children. I mean, there [are] really only two places you can look for identity. You can look for identity vertically or you can look for identity horizontally. Looking for identity in your children is just a miserable way to live as a parent.
Your Children Will Not Give You Identity
I mean, think about this. Your children don't get up in the morning and say, "What are the twelve ways today I can give my mom and dad a sense of value and worth?" That's just not what's in the mind of a child. You're actually parenting a broken human being who needs rescue, who will have a bad day, who will say bad things, who will make bad choices.
And you see, if you're too focused on identity, you're then too focused on success. You're too focused on reputation. You're too focused on control. And again, that induces incredible tension in your relationship to your children. It's a tough burden for a child to try to bear the identity of their parent.
You see, you've been given a glorious identity as a child of God. You're accepted. Even on your worst day, you're loved. Even in bad choices, you're graced. God will never turn His back on you. Rest in your vertical identity and that gives you ability not to look for that in the lives of your children.
