Paul Tripp: As you face struggles in your talk, do you feel all alone, misunderstood, hopeless, and discouraged, or have you sought and found God's help?

Kate Crowley: From Paul Tripp Ministries, this is Right Here, Right Now, connecting the transforming power of Jesus Christ to everyday life. Here, now, is Paul Tripp.

Paul Tripp: The most logical thing to do when you're not satisfied with something is work to change it. If you're truly dissatisfied with something, you aren't willing to live with it as it is. So if you've been listening, and you have become dissatisfied with your world of talk, what are you going to do about it?

You know that you don't always use words as God intended. You know that you don't always speak up to His standard and according to His design. You know that you use words in ways that are more about what you want than what God wants. You know that you use words as tools of control or weapons of war. You know that you take words as your own, and you use them for your own purpose.

You know that you've been ashamed and embarrassed by things that you have said. You know that you've had moments when you have wished that you could take back words you have said, but you realize it's simply too late. You have had to live with the bad legacy of your words that has been left behind. You know, if you're honest, you just can't be satisfied. You know you can't be willing to live with the old status quo.

If you open up your ears, and you listen to you speak, you know that change is indicated. You know that God is calling you away from your satisfaction. God is actually calling you to be dissatisfied with this area. So how are you going to turn around your world of talk? How is change ever going to take place - not temporary change - but change that really lasts in your world of talk?

Music: "Lifetimes" by Sheryl Crow

I dreamed I was swimming,
Fighting the undertow
Drifting in circles, no place to go.
And when I woke up,
I was wringing wet
So much stronger than before
And we can live lifetimes
In a single day
No matter what you do
I love you anyway
You say if you're lost inside
I get lonely too
Even in the worst of times
I give my best to you
Even in the worst of times
I give my best to you

Kate Crowley: You're listening to Right Here, Right Now and Paul Tripp's new series titled, "What About Your Talk?" Thanks for listening.

Be sure to tell your friends that Paul is here each weekday at 11 A.M. on WFIL. Now, you can pick up a variety of resources on subjects like marriage and ministry. This includes Paul's book, War of Words. Just go to paultrippministries.org. That's one word, paultripp, spelled T-R-I-P-P, paultrippministries.org.

More, now, from Paul Tripp, Right Here, Right Now.

Working Hard to Change on Our Own

Paul Tripp: I was thinking about something the other day that's kind of amazing. I've been married to my wife, Luella, for a long time. Luella and I have a great relationship in many ways. I'm very thankful for her. I say all the time that our relationship works because Luella has character, and I am one.

We do have a really good relationship. We enjoy one another's company, and we're serious about our relationship being what God intended for it to be. And we've always worked to have time outside our house together so that we can talk about the things we need to talk about. We've really been serious about our relationship. We enjoy one another, and both of us are thankful that we're married.

But let me share with you an important fact in our relationship. Here it is: with all of this love, and with all of these years, and with all of our commitment to one another, we are not free of trouble in our communication.

Now, I don't want you to get the wrong impression here. I don't mean that we're constantly screaming and yelling at one another. And, no, we're not angry all the time and at one another's throats. That's just not the kind of relationship we have, but we don't have to look very far to see problems in our world of talk.

It may be something that was hurriedly and thoughtlessly spoken. It may have been an irritated comment, or it could have been a quick accusation, or a selfish demand. There is evidence of trouble in our life of talk.

It may have been an, "I told you so!" when encouragement or comfort was needed. It may have been needless nitpicking or words of self-righteousness or self-pity. It may have been using words to resurrect an old situation that should have remained buried and buried for a long time.

With all of our love for one another, with all of our commitment to one another, with all of the experiences that we've had with one another, with all the good things that God has taught us over the years, with all of our desire to speak to one another God's way, we still struggle in a world of talk. That's how deep, that's how persuasive, that's how fundamental our struggle with words is.

If I would look at myself, and I would think of any relationship in all of life that should be free of this area of trouble, it would be my relationship with Luella. I would imagine that relationship would be completely free of the struggle of talk, but it isn't.

Even that relationship of such sweet affection, such daily appreciation, such thankfulness for what we have and for what God has given us, even this relationship of love is not free. Our world of talk still is a world of trouble. And there is seldom, sadly, a day where Luella and I don't misuse words in some way.

It's an amazing thing. You don't just struggle with talking properly to people that you don't love. You struggle with talking to people that you love. How important is that to recognize? How significant is our struggle with this important world of talk?

Music: "Criminal" by Fiona Apple

I've been a bad bad girl
I've been careless with a delicate man
And it's a sad sad world
When a girl will break a boy
Just because she can
Don't you tell me to deny it
I've done wrong and I want to
Suffer for my sins
I've come to you 'cause I need
Guidance to be true
And I just don't know where I can begin
What I need is a good defense
'Cause I'm feelin' like a criminal
And I need to be redeemed
To the one I've sinned against
Because he's all I ever knew of a love

Lessons From the Kindergarten Classroom

Paul Tripp: One of the most amazing experiences of my life was that I taught kindergarten for four years. I laugh and say, "Four of the longest years of my life." No, actually it was something I enjoyed very much, but it was an amazing experience, and I've thought about this aspect of that experience many times.

I never had to teach my students to argue and fight. I never had to teach them how to wound one another with words. I never had to teach them how to make fun of another person. I never had to teach them how to use words to accuse. I never had to teach them to lie. I never had to teach them how to flatter someone in order to get their own way.

As their teacher, I could intervene in their arguments; I could referee their fights. But the change that was really needed that was depicted by the way they used words was beyond my power as a teacher.

So how does God address our deep and continuing struggle with words? Well, He doesn't just give us principles, although He does give us principles. He doesn't just point us to techniques. He doesn't simply highlight for us certain skills, although you could even argue that there are skills there in the Bible. No, He gives us something that's radical and life altering. God literally gives us Himself. He is the only hope for our world of talk.

Now you say, "Well, Paul, I get what you're saying, but I don't know what this means. How is God the solution for my struggle with talk?" What God did was He sent His Son, who is called the 'Word' into this world, so that through Him, we may have realistic hope of change in our world of talk.

Now, you have got to understand how this works. The Word became flesh because there was no other way to fix what was broken in our world of talk. What was needed was rescue; so the Word came so that our words could be what they were meant to be by the One who created language in the first place.

You see, our problem is not fundamentally a problem of ignorance or lack of skill. Changes in location, situation, education, training, exercise, or in the nature of a relationship will not solve our problem with words.

What you and I have to recognize is that the war of words goes on between people, and that war is actually the fruit of a deeper, more fundamental war. You see, we see the war between people, and there is a war of words that goes on between people, but the more fundamental war is a deeper war that's fought within us.

So what have we been given for this deeper war? What do we find in Christ so that we can change, grow, and gain in our struggle with talk? In Ephesians 1, beginning with verse 15, Paul uses four dynamic words to capture the resources that are ours in Christ for this huge struggle of talk. Let me walk through those words with you...

The first word is 'hope.' By hope, the writer, Paul, doesn't mean some dreamy wish over which there is no control. No, he is using hope in its more biblical sense. In the Bible, hope is a confident expectation of a guaranteed result.

Because we have hope, we can refuse to settle for the status quo. Because we have hope, we can determine that we are going to resist going where our emotions and desires lead us. With faith and courage, we believe that we can gain ground. And we live expectantly, not because we have hope in us, but because we know that God has done something for us that gives us reason for hope.

The second word is 'riches.' It's so easy when you're looking at all of your communication failures, and when you look at all the failures of other people, to look at them and to look at yourself as poor, not having what you need to speak as God intended. But in Christ, you have been made rich.

I can't think of a person who captures these riches more powerfully than Peter does. Peter says that, "We have been given everything we need for life and godliness" - "...everything we need for life and godliness." What is godliness? Godliness is a God-honoring life where I am and with whom I am with from the time I come to Christ to the time I go home to be with Him.

You see, I have been given everything I need to live in a God-honoring way where I live and whom I'm with every day. What is godliness? It is that ability to speak up to God's standard and according to God's design. In Jesus, we really do find the riches we need to speak as God intended.

But there's a third word - 'power.' You see, we don't fundamentally struggle with our talk because we lack skills. No, we struggle because we lack power. Think about this. God hasn't just forgiven you. He has literally come to live inside of you. If you're God's child, you have the greatest resource of power in the universe now living right inside of you - God Himself.

The final word is 'rule.' So much of our problem with talk is that we take control by our words. We use words to get control. We use words out of fear to ward off what we are afraid of. But we don't have to take control anymore. Jesus now rules over everything for our sakes. Jesus controls it all for us. No, your world is not under your control, but it is not out of control because God is in control of your world.

What help do you have for your talk? You have realistic hope, a confident expectation of a guaranteed result; you have riches, gifts given to you by Christ so that you can be what He wants you to be. You have power. God comes and lives inside of you. And you have rule. God controls His world so that He will deliver to you all the things you need. Hope, riches, power, and rule-four gifts so that you may speak as God intended.

Music: "It Is Well With My Soul" by Wayne Watson

Though Satan should taunt me
Though trials should come
Let this blessed assurance control
Then Christ has regarded my helpless estate
And has shed His own blood for my soul
It is well with my soul
It is well; it is well with my soul

Are You Reaching Out for God's Help With Your Words?

Paul Tripp: Are you reaching out for God's help with your words? Answer these questions.

Do you humbly admit your inability and seek the Lord's help for important times of communication?

In your primary relationships, are you trying to accomplish, with words, what only the Lord has the power and grace to do?

Do you slide into hopelessness so that you regularly give up or give in?

Are you willing to recognize weakness, recognize recurring themes, confess your faults to God and to the appropriate people?

Are you committing yourself to new patterns of talk?

Are you able to receive help from others as they point out weaknesses?

Take this communication quiz with me.

Does your talk with others lead to problem solving?

Does your talk with others have a 'me against them' or a 'stand together' posture to it?

Do your words encourage others to be open and honest about their true thoughts and feelings?

Are you approachable and teachable, or defensive and self-protective when talking to others?

You see, how are things going in your world of talk?

Do you, by your talk, encourage others and stimulate them to grow?

Do you talk to others in order to develop relationships with them, or do you only talk to solve problems in times of trouble?

Do you speak words of confession when necessary and words of forgiveness when needed?

Do your words reflect a willingness to serve others, or demand that you be served?

As you face struggles in your talk, do you feel all alone, misunderstood, hopeless, and discouraged, or have you sought and found God's help?

You see, today, we've talked about four wonderful gifts. They're gifts of God's grace to help us in the here and now. God has gifted you with realistic hope. God has gifted you with true riches of grace. God has gifted you with power beyond your imagination because He lives inside of you. And God has gifted you with His rule; He rules over all things for your sake so that you would have all the things you need in order to be what He's called for you to be, and to do what He's called for you to do, and to speak as He's intended for you to speak.

What in the world is going on in your world of talk? Are you able to humbly receive the help of others as they point out weaknesses and failures? Do you, daily, thank God for His help, His presence, and His provision for the words that you will speak that day? Do you recognize the amazing resources of grace that you have been given?

It's no longer just your strength. It's no longer just your wisdom. It's no longer just your character. It's no longer just your ability, because you have been gifted with the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ. And in that grace, there's hope. And in that grace, there are riches. And in that grace, there's power. And in that grace, there's personal rule in your world of talk. Are you running to the only place where true help can be found?

(Music Interlude)

Paul Tripp: You know your garden never looks better just because you've refused to admit that there are weeds growing there. The only way that garden ever looks better is if you face the fact that it's filled with weeds, and you work to pull those weeds out so that beautiful flowers can breathe and grow.

In the same way, your world of talk will never be benefited by your unwillingness to admit that your world of talk is a world of need. But you don't have to be discouraged. Yes, maybe you've blown it again and again in the very same situation. Maybe you've committed yourself to change before, but it has never really lasted. Maybe you've been hearing your own words more clearly, and you're not happy with what you've been hearing.

Well, you do not have to be afraid. You do not have to be overwhelmed. You do not have to be discouraged. You do not have to give up. You do not have to run away and hide. You do not have to make the problems smaller than it is. You don't have to look at weeds and refuse to admit that they're weeds.

You can wake up with hope because you've been brought into personal relationship with the ultimate source of everything you need to speak as God intended, the Lord Jesus Christ. The Lord Jesus Christ is, Himself, the hope of good communication. You see, Jesus comes to your world of trouble, and He meets you with His power, power that has the ability to change your words right here, right now.

Kate Crowley: Paul Tripp, with an encouraging reminder from the series, "What About Your Talk?" on today's Right Here, Right Now. Now, if you'd like to explore this topic even further, pick up your own personal copy of War of Words by Paul Tripp. In its pages, you'll discover the secrets of the power of the word. That's War of Words. And you can request a copy when you visit paultrippministries.org. That's Paul T-R-I-P-P, paultrippministries.org.

Now, if you've been encouraged by something Paul said today, you can listen to this program or previous programs online, or sign up for the daily podcast. You may also want to request a copy on CD. It's available for just five dollars. Get these and other helpful resources at paultrippministries.org, or call us at 1-800-551-6595. That's toll free 800-551-6595.

And if you'd like to help others discover freedom in Jesus Christ through the ministry of Right Here, Right Now, give online at paultrippministries.org, and just click on 'Ministry Support,' or write to us at 7214 Frankford Avenue, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 19135.

And why not invite Paul to speak at your church or special event? Now, next time, Paul continues to look at the power of words from the series, "What About Your Talk?" That's coming up tomorrow. I'm Kate Crowley, and for all of us at Paul Tripp Ministries, remember, in Jesus Christ, there really is help right here, right now.