Paul Tripp: What do you tell yourself when things don't turn out the way that you expected or dreamed they would? What do you do with your disappointment?

Kate Crowley: From Paul Tripp Ministries, this is Right Here, Right Now, connecting the transforming power of Jesus Christ to everyday life.

Sarah (Female Actress): I just want to live in a marriage that works with a husband who loves me.

Ben (Male Actor): I don't know what that means. I just don't know what you want, Sarah. Sometimes it seems impossible for you to be happy.

Sarah: Oh, Ben, you know that's not fair. When we were going together, I couldn't have been happier. I thought I had finally found real love. I thought we would really be happy together. I never thought that things would end up like this. Sometimes I feel like I'm living with a man I don't even know.

Ben: You keep saying that, but I don't know what you mean. I haven't changed. But Sarah, our life is different. We're not just getting together to have fun anymore. We have a real life with real responsibilities. I've accepted the fact that I don't have a life of my own. That I'm going to be constantly busy. But what I can't stand is the constant criticism.

Sarah: Now you see, that is what drives me crazy. You don't really want me to be honest. No, and you want me to pretend that I'm happy, to act like everything is okay between us, but it's not okay. If something doesn't change, I'm not sure that I can go on like this. I refuse to live in a marriage that's a sham. I just want that man I married back again. Why is that too much to ask?

Ben: And this is what I get to live with every day, Sarah, your criticisms and your threats. When was the last time you were thankful? When was last time you told me how much you appreciate how hard I work for our family. When is the last time you were actually grateful?

Sarah: And when was the last time that you took me out just to do something fun? When was the last time you bought me flowers or wrote me one of those silly notes you used to leave all over the place, telling me how much you loved me? Now it seems like you barely have time for me. I feel like I'm just another duty on your busy schedule. I think we've lost something, Ben, and I don't know how to get it back again.

Music: "Home" by Sheryl Crow

I woke up this morning
Now I understand
What it means to give your life
To just one man
Afraid of feeling nothing
No bees or butterflies
My head is full of voices
And my house is full of lies
This is home, home
And this is home, home
This is home

Kate Crowley: This is Right Here, Right Now, a brand new program featuring author, speaker, and counselor, Paul Tripp. In just a moment, Paul will discuss, "Survival Skills for a Fallen World," but I want to remind you that if you want to find out more about Paul, you can visit our website at paultrippministries.org. That's paultrippministries.org.

There you'll find many resources including Paul's exciting new book called, Lost In The Middle. Again, we're on the web at paultrippministries.org. Now, with "Survival Skills for a Fallen World," here's Paul Tripp.

What Is Wrong With Ben and Sarah?

Paul Tripp: What's wrong with Ben and Sarah? What are they not seeing that they need to see? Why has their relationship ended this way? How in the world is change ever going to take place for them?

Think about this, what do you do when you know something is broken? How do you go about fixing it? Or, I would ask you an even more personal question, "What do you do with your disappointment? What you do when things in your life just aren't working the way that you want them to work or the way that you think they should work?"

Now I know some of you are listening, and you're terribly disappointed with your marriage. You had a dream. You thought you knew what it could be like, and it's turned out so very different. Maybe that person whom you just loved to be with, at this point, barely seems like your friend. Or maybe you've had a friendship that has just grown cold and distant, and you don't know why--you can't really figure it out.

Or maybe the job that you looked forward to now becomes a place that you dread going to, and you can barely get yourself up in the morning and go there. What do you tell yourself when things don't turn out the way that you expected or dreamed they would? What do you do with your disappointment? Maybe you just get real busy, and you put a thousand things on your schedule, and the busyness keeps you from thinking about the pain that's in your heart. Maybe you numb yourself with television, and the hours pass with mindless TV--It's sort of a legal, socially acceptable drug.

Music: "Home" by Sheryl Crow

I'm going crazy
A little everyday
And everything I wanted
Is now driving me away
I woke this morning
To the sound of breaking hearts
Mine is full of questions
And it's tearing yours apart
And it's tearing yours apart
And it's tearing yours apart
And it's tearing yours apart
And it's tearing us apart

Survival Skills for a Fallen World

Paul Tripp: What I would like you to consider is the concept of survival skills for a fallen world. What does it mean to live in a world that's broken, but in a way that's fruitful and productive, that actually, even though there's difficulty, produces a harvest of things that are good? What does it mean to live that way in this broken world?

Well, there are four things that all of us will deal with. These are four inescapable realities that all of us will face somehow, because these are the realities of the world that we now live in. Here's the first one: You do live in a broken world. And I've said some about that already, and I don't need to say a lot more. The world is a fallen place; the world is broken.

Here's the second reality, this will shock you, but you are not, in fact, a perfect person. All of us carry around a deep problem inside of us--it's called sin. We all carry inside of us our own personal Judas--this thing that the Bible calls sin-it does something terrible to me. It actually causes me to want to shrink my life to the size of my life. It causes me to want to live in the claustrophobic confines of my own little, self-defined world.

It causes me to want to live for nothing bigger than my own wants, and my own desires, and my own self-defined needs. I want my life to be no bigger than the size of my life, and I want to co-opt the people around me into the service of my kingdom. Sin causes me to want to live in the center of my universe.

Sin makes me scarily self-focused, and self-defined, and self-interested. In the deepest, fullest, real-life sense of the word, sin makes me selfish, and there's no end to my zeal to get what I want, when I want it, how I want it, why I want it, where I want it. That's all of us!

In fact, II Corinthians 5, verse 15 says something very interesting. It says that Jesus came so that those who live should no longer live for themselves. Think about this, Jesus came into this world to break the back of my selfishness. Sin causes me to serve a false god, and that false god is me. You see it all around us; you see it everywhere. We can be so incredibly selfish. We want what we want, and that's what we want.

But we don't just deal with a broken world. We don't just deal with our own struggle with sin. We also deal with the fact that there is, in this fallen world, an enemy, an enemy of everything that's right, true, good, and beautiful. An enemy not just of us, but an enemy of God. The Bible names that person, satan. And he's a divider, and a tempter, and a destroyer.

He wants to paint in our eyes 'right' so it looks like 'wrong', and 'wrong' so it looks like 'right'. He wants to seduce us outside of the borders of what God has called us to live. And so, I not only deal with the fact that the world is broken. I not only deal with the fact that I carry around this thing called sin inside of me, but I live in a world where I'm constantly being seduced; I'm constantly being tempted; I'm constantly being wooed away from what is good, and true, and right, and beautiful.

But there's a fourth thing. This thing is very different than everything else I have talked about so far. Yes, we live in a broken world. Yes, we carry sin around inside of us. Yes, there's a real enemy. But there's a fourth thing that we all deal with all the time. It's the plan of God. In Acts 17, Paul says something astounding. He says that God determines the exact place where I will live and the exact length of my life. It's shocking to think of it, but God has me right where He wants me.

God has chosen me to live in the location that I was called to live, again, not because He's evil and capricious, but because He is wise, and loving, and faithful, and good. And in that place where I live, He's working to accomplish good things in me and good things through me. You've got to factor in part of the plan. So every morning, I wake up to a broken world. Every morning, I wake up to personal sin. Every morning, I wake up to the temptation of the enemy, and every morning, I wake up to the good plan of God. Every morning, I will deal with those dynamics.

In Jeremiah, Jeremiah gives a wonderful, physical description of two ways of dealing with that world. This is Jeremiah 17, beginning with verse five. This is what the Lord says:

'Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who depends on flesh for his strength, and whose heart turns away from the LORD. He will be like a bush in the wastelands, and he will not see prosperity when it comes. He will dwell in the parched places of the desert, in a salt land where no one lives. But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in Him. He will be like a tree planted by the water, that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves are always green. It has no worries in the year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.'

As you deal with these four things: The brokenness of the world, your own struggle was sin, the temptation of a real enemy, and the plan of God, ask yourself, "Am I more like that dry, dying, thorn bush; or am I like a fruitful tree, that even in the heat, produces a harvest of things that are good? As you examine your life, how are you doing with dealing with these four realities? Is your life producing real and lasting fruit?

(Music Interlude)

Paul Tripp: Think back with me for a moment at poor Ben and Sarah, both of them so frustrated, both of them so hurt, now to the point where Ben and Sarah can barely talk to one another. Ben has had it; he feels so criticized. Sarah has had it; she just feels like Ben has just forsaken her.

Now think about Ben and Sarah--it's not actually very shocking that they have problems. If you try to have a comprehensive relationship, 24/7, like marriage is, and you put that in the middle of a broken world with two sinners, and an enemy that's tempting, and a God who has a different plan than you have, it's likely that there'll be problems. You see, you've got to get this fact. The problem with Ben and Sarah is not that they have problems. The problem is what they are doing in the middle of the problem that they have.

You see, what Ben and Sarah have been very good at doing, even they don't know it, is troubling their own trouble. They have been very successful in actually working to make their problems worse because Ben and Sarah don't get what's going on. They don't get the world that they're living in. They don't seem to understand the drama of their own sin. They don't seem to be aware of the seduction of a wily enemy, and they surely don't seem to understand that there's a God who is writing their story, and the way that He's writing their story is very, very different from the story they would've written for themselves.

You see, the reason that Ben and Sarah aren't able to solve their problems is Ben and Sarah don't know what's going on. And so, Ben searches for his explanation in Sarah, and Sarah searches for her explanation in Ben, and they're not making any sense of what's happening. They really don't get what's going on because they don't factor in those four realities that we've been talking about.

Listen, you begin to think of how broken this world is, you'll understand that you always build a relationship in the middle of obstacles. You begin to understand your own struggle with sin; you realize how quickly you get angry, how easily you get selfish, how quickly you can be unforgiving and condemning. You understand that we live in a world where there really is an enemy of our souls. You understand how easy it is to be seduced away from right, toward wrong.

And you begin to understand that there's a wise and powerful God who is willing to take us where we don't want to go in order to produce in us something good. You won't be shocked that your story doesn't turn out the way you thought it would. You see, fruitfulness is about looking at life and dealing with life based on what God says life is actually all about.

Music: "Amazing Grace" written by John Newton

Amazing Grace! how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me!
I once was lost, but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.
'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,
And Grace my fears relieved;
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed!
Through many dangers, toils, and snares,
I have already come;
'Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far,
And grace will lead me home.
When we've been there ten thousand years,
Bright shining as the sun,
We've no less days to sing God's praise
Than when we first begun.
Amazing Grace! how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me!
I once was lost, but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.
Was blind, but now I see.

Knowing What to Desire, Think, Say, and Do

Paul Tripp: Yes, we all need biblical survival skills for this fallen world. All of us need to know what to desire, think, say, and do as we face the challenges, opportunities, responsibilities, and temptations of life. And that is exactly what this program is designed to give you. But it's designed to give you more. It's designed to help you to understand what Christ gives you so that you can face, with hope, what is on your plate, and respond to it in a way that is effective, productive, and fruitful.

Remember, God has given us more than principles; He's given us more than commands; He's given us more than encouraging stories; He's given us more than wonderful promises. What God has actually given us is Himself.

You see, the biggest problem with Ben and Sarah is, when they tell their story, it's an utterly godless story. There's no God in the equation, and because there's no God in the equation, Ben and Sarah don't have any hope. Sarah can't look at Ben and get hope, and Ben can't look at Sarah and get hope. They need to understand that, in this moment of difficulty, there is a God who loves them, who is with them, and His grace provides for them just what they need.

Kate Crowley: And that same grace is there for all of us. God's grace! Paul will continue his series, "Survival Skills for a Fallen World," tomorrow on our program. Perhaps as you've listened today, you find yourself looking back at the last six weeks of your life, asking yourself, "Am I making my situation worse?" What do your responses produce in the situations and relationships you live in every day?

Well, Paul has some resources that can help you. He's written a book titled, Lost In The Middle. In it, he describes how you can overcome regret, and the passing of your dreams, and how God's grace becomes evident through times of pain. That's Paul's book called, Lost In The Middle, available at our website, paultrippministries.org. That's all one word, paultripp, spelled T-R-I-P-P, paultrippministries.org.

When you visit our website, you can also listen to these programs online or sign up for daily podcast and listen to the programs on your iPod. If you would like a CD of today's program, they're also available on our website for just five dollars at paultrippministries.org, or call us at 1-800-551-6595, that's toll-free 800-551-6595.

Right Here, Right Now is reaching people across the country with these programs, and we can use your help. If you are blessed by Paul's teaching today, why not consider supporting this ministry by just clicking on, 'Ministry Support' at paultrippministries.org, if you want to give through our website, or write to us at 7214 Frankford Ave., Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 19135.

If you'd like to hear Paul in person, he'll be speaking at the "Hope for Broken Relationships," Conference this Friday through Sunday at the Valley Forge Convention Center. For more information, call 215-884-7676, that's 215-884-7676.

Tomorrow, Paul continues his series on "Survival Skills for a Fallen World," with skill number one: "You Have to Know Where You Came From." Now, for Paul Tripp and all of us at Paul Tripp Ministries, I am Kate Crowley, reminding you that in Jesus Christ, there really is help, right here, right now.