Paul Tripp: Words really do affect everything we do in every location we do it, and with all the people we do it with. You just can't underestimate this thing called words.

Kate Crowley: From Paul Tripp Ministries, this is Right Here, Right Now, connecting the transforming power of Jesus Christ to everyday life. Here now is Paul Tripp.

Paul Tripp: I want you to give me your attention for a moment because I want you to take a communication quiz with me. Now don't be afraid. It's not a pass-fail test, but I think it can help you evaluate this world of talk that we have been talking about. I'm going to ask you several questions for your evaluation.

Does your talk with others lead to problem solving?

Does your talk with others have a 'me against them' or a 'stand-together posture' to it?

Do your words encourage others to be open and honest about their true thoughts and feelings?

Are you approachable and teachable or defensive and self-protective when talking to others?

Is your communication healthy in its relationship to how it structures the relationships in your life?

Does your talk encourage others and stimulate them to grow?

Do you talk to others in order to develop relationships with them, or do you only talk to solve problems in times of trouble?

Do you speak words of confession when necessary and words of forgiveness when needed?

Do your words reflect a willingness to serve others or demand that you be served?

As you face struggles in your talk, do you feel all alone, misunderstood, hopeless, and discouraged, or have you sought and found God's help?

As you have answered these questions, as you evaluate yourself, what in the world is going on in your personal world of talk?

Music: "Square One" by Coldplay

From the top of the first page
To the end of the last day
From the start in your own way
You just want somebody listening to what you say
It doesn't matter who you are

Kate Crowley: This is Right Here, Right Now, "Gaining Control of Your Talk." That's today's topic with Paul Tripp. Thanks for being a part of this outreach from Paul Tripp Ministries. And, let your friends know that Paul is here each weekday at 11 A.M. on WFIL with the goal to remind you, every day, that there really is help in Jesus Christ right here, right now.

For a complete list of resources, go to paultrippministries.org. That's all one word, paultripp, spelled T-R-I-P-P, paultrippministries.org. Right now, more on "What About Your Talk?" as Right Here, Right Now continues.

Small Words, Big Impact

Paul Tripp: You know, most of us won't be written up in history books; most of us don't make very many huge decisions in our lives, probably only three or four big decisions. Most of us, you know a few decades after we die, the people we leave behind will struggle to remember the events of our lives. Most of us live in the utterly mundane. And, you know, if God doesn't rule your mundane, He doesn't rule you because that's where you live.

I want to tell you a mundane story. I remember it very well. It started out as a great day. The weather was wonderful, and we had a relaxing family breakfast, something we didn't get to do very often. We were going to leave in about two hours for a family activity, so I was using the time to do some entertainment reading.

But my teenage daughter and my youngest son seemed more at their throats than usual. I was sitting there trying to read, being irritated as I heard the escalation of their verbal back-and-forth, as I was struggling to concentrate.

I was growing more irritated with every moment. I sat there with my book in hand with steam coming out of my ears, but I was refusing to intervene. "I don't have to deal with this today," I told myself, "This is my day off." I even wondered why my wife didn't do something. After all, she knew this was the one day in the month that I could take time to chill out.

At this moment, my son ran into the bathroom with his sister in hot pursuit. They were both pushing on either side of the door with all their might, slamming it and screaming at the top of their lungs. I had had it!

I got up, but not with any godly sense of parental purpose. No, I had a heart full of anger and self-pity! Didn't they know what my life was like? Didn't they know how hard I worked for them? Didn't they realize how important this day off was for me?

In that spirit, I marched myself to the scene. I encountered my daughter first. I was so frustrated, I gave her the old, "I do, and I do for you, and this is the thanks I get? Why don't you grow up?" speech!"

My words were accusatory and harsh, born out of love for me more than love for her. She kept saying, "But Dad, but Dad, but dad, but dad, but dad, you don't understand." But I wasn't there to understand; I was there to vent my frustration; I was there to tell her what I thought of what she was doing; I was there to let my anger rip!

I left her room, and I threw myself down on the couch to continue my reading, but I couldn't concentrate. No matter how I tried, I could not justify what I had just said, and the way I had said it. My conviction soon turned to remorse; I'd blown it again, so I cried out for God's help.

Can you relate to this struggle? Can you relate to this kind of moment? Can you relate to communication that you're not proud of, that you wouldn't want to be involved with again? Can you relate to the fact that you don't always say the right thing at the right moment in the right way? Can you relate to the struggle that all of us have with words?

Can you relate to having to pay attention one more time to your world of talk? What's going on there? What about your world of talk?

Music: "Hurt" by Johnny Cash

I wear this crown of thorns
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear
You are someone else
I am still right here
What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way

What Genesis 1 Says About Our Words

Paul Tripp: So what do we say about the world of our words? What do we say about our life of talk? Well, let's think again about Genesis 1. What does Genesis 1 tell us about this area of our lives? It seems so blatantly obvious that it's almost silly to say. God gave Adam and Eve the ability to talk.

Now, I know that's not a shock to you because you talk today, and you're hearing me talk. But the power of this ability is not always as obvious as the gift of this ability is. This incredible capacity to communicate with words immediately separated Adam and Eve from the rest of all creation.

Adam and Eve were given the ability to take their thoughts and desires, their emotions and their feelings, and share them with each other through words. They could actually describe what they were feeling inside in a way that the person listening to them could be gripped by what had gripped them, and they did it with words. They were like God; they could talk. God gave them this ability; and in giving this ability, God was setting the shape and direction of their lives.

Think about how you live. There is no ability you depend on more than your ability to give and receive communication. You are always giving and receiving communication. It's almost a constant thing in the hours that we are awake every day. We do it in quiet conversations over coffee; we do it in an anxious conversation in a busy airport; we do it when we defend ourselves when late for a curfew.

We do it when we explain why we didn't take a task or we didn't complete the task that we took; we do it when we teach our children; we do it when we intervene in an argument; we do it in a lengthy, political debate; we do it in a loving moment of encouragement; we do it in an angry moment of rebuke; we do it when we say a quiet "good night."

We do it when we are walking home from school; we do it when we're riding on the subway; we do it in restaurants; we do it in the stands of a ballgame; we do it to strengthen romance; we do it to break a relationship; we do it to teach; we do it to entertain; we do it; we do it; we do it, and we do it because we are people who talk. We never stop talking from very young to very old.

There is probably no more magic moment than the moment when a child first says words. The child says, "blublubblub," and the father says, "I think he said, 'theologian.'" And it was probably just gas, but we're looking for that first "mama" or "dadda." We want to hear words come out of that child, and we're very afraid if our child gets beyond the speaking years and hasn't spoken yet, because that's a sign of some kind of trouble. We anxiously wait for that first moment of talk.

And there's probably no sadder moment in all of life than when a dying loved one falls wordless. I remember when we stood around the bed as my mom was dying. I remember when she finally said her last words and began to slip into death. It seemed so wrong; it seemed so irrational to have the body lying there, but there were no words coming out anymore.

We had had our last conversation. She would never be able to say again, "I love you." We couldn't finish those unfinished conversations. She was wordless! She was silent! It seemed so inhumane. It didn't seem right! Why? Because talking is so much a part of who we are. And when a person loses their ability to communicate, they've lost something profound. We all recognize that. You see, our incessant words provide the unending background music of the human community.

Words shape our relationship and direct our lives. Words structure our observations and define our experiences. It is through words that we get to know situations, and locations, and people. We want to be alone when we have heard too many words, and we feel alone when we have heard no one talk to us.

In giving us this astounding ability, God not only sets us apart from the rest of creation, He determined the nature of our lives and our relationships. Want to learn? Listen and talk. Want to have a relationship? Listen and talk. Want to parent your children? Listen and talk. Want to get a job? Listen and talk. Want to worship? Listen and talk. Want to be part of any community? Listen and talk. Listen and talk. Listen and talk - that's a human being's life.

We're people, and we communicate. It's the nature of our existence. Words really do affect everything we do, in every location we do it, and with all the people we do it with. You just can't underestimate this thing called 'words.' God created all of this, and He gave words the place and value they have in our lives.

Are you beginning to get the picture? This mundane, every day area of our lives is anything but mundane and anything but unimportant. Words have power, and words have influence. They literally influence everything we do, whether we notice it or not, and words run right to the very heart of who God created us to be and what He designed for us to do. So, our world of talk must be taken seriously. It is uniquely human, this ability; it is a powerful gift, and it is a huge responsibility, a powerful gift and a huge responsibility.

Now, there's good news here. The good news is that you are a human being and you talk; the bad news is that you are a human being and you talk. This ability is both wonderful and dangerous at the very same time. You've used it in wonderful ways, and you've used it in dangerous ways. You use words for its highest purpose at moments, and there are times when you use words for purposes that God never intended. The fact is that you are a human being and you talk, and that's good and bad news at the same time. We are wordy people living in wordy lives; we talk.

Music: "I Could Sing Of Your Love Forever" by Delirious?

Over the mountains and the sea
Your river runs with love for me
And I will open up my heart
And let the Healer set me free
I'm happy to be in the truth
And I will daily lift my hands
For I will always sing
Of when Your love came down
Yeah
I could sing of Your love forever
I could sing of Your love forever
I could sing of Your love forever
I could sing of Your love forever

Listening to the Recording of Your Words

Paul Tripp: So, as I've been talking, have you been thinking about your words? Have you been listening to the recording of what you've said in the last few days? Have you been thinking about what you have been doing with this wonderful and amazing gift? Words give you amazing opportunities; words give you significant responsibilities; words present you with many temptations; words weigh you down with great pressures; words are both gifts and obstacles because words give you power.

Imagine the power of a parent teaching a child things that that child would never know apart from that parent. Or imagine that parent beating that child with words, destroying that child's very sense of identity. Imagine moving next to a person who is in a moment of life trouble, and through words, giving that person encouragement and hope, a reason to get up in the morning, a reason to continue. Or imagine condemning that person and criticizing that person for the mess that they've gotten themselves into. Imagine using words to create peace in relationships that are broken by conflict, or imagine using words to divide a unified relationship.

You see, words give you amazing opportunities; words give you significant responsibilities; words present you with many temptations; words weigh you down with great pressures; words are both gifts and obstacles. Words give you power.

But you must always understand, and you must never forget, your words do not belong to you; your words belong to the Lord. And as we've said before, when we lose sight of the fact that our words belong to the Lord, our words lose their shelter from difficulty. Your world of talk becomes a world of trouble when you use words as if they belong to you, employing them for your own purpose.

The call of Genesis is to speak up to God's standard and according to His design because I recognize that words belong to Him. And this call to speak up to God's standard and according to His design, this call is to be lived out wherever you are and whomever you are speaking with.

You have power; you talk. You have opportunities; you talk. You have responsibilities; you talk. You are tempted; you talk. You face great pressure; you talk. You have a gift; you talk. You have an obstacle; you talk. You have power; you talk.

And your words are never meaningless, your words are never unimportant, your words are never neutral. You have power, a power given to you by God; you can communicate in words, and those words always have some effect. You have power, you talk. The question is, "How are you using the power that you have been given?" How are you using the power that you have been given?

(Music Interlude)

Paul Tripp: Hear this: "Your talk is not cheap." In being given the ability to communicate, you have been given a wonderful and a dangerous gift. Your words always have a goal and always have a result. And your words always serve someone else's purpose, either God's or yours. They always serve someone's purpose, either God's or yours.

One of the most comforting parts of God's Word tells us that His grace is sufficient, and His strength is made perfect in our moments of weakness. Think about this; admitting your weakness is not a dangerous thing. What is dangerous are your delusions of independent strength.

Because of the grace that has been offered, we can humbly admit that we often take words as our own. We don't have to be afraid of admitting our problem in this area. Often we don't speak according to God's design. Often we don't speak up to His standard; often we use words in ways that they were never meant to be used. We use words that were meant to give life, and we take them as weapons of harm. We use words that were meant to serve and to help, and we use them to divide.

Stop right now and admit that your world of talk is a world of need. Stop and do the one thing that has the power to completely rearrange your world of talk. Stop and be honest! Stop and own your weakness. Stop and embrace your struggle. Stop and stand before God without excuse, because He really does have the help that you need, right here, right now.

Kate Crowley: "Learning to Surrender Your Talk," Paul Tripp with words of wisdom. This is Right Here, Right Now from Paul Tripp Ministries and the series, "What About Your Talk?"

Now if you could use a little guidance with your talk, go online and take a look at War of Words. In his book, Paul Tripp examines four fundamental, life-altering principles to help you on your journey. That's War of Words. Go to paultrippministries.org. That's all one word, paultripp, spelled T-R-I-P-P, paultrippministries.org.

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Tomorrow, Paul takes a deeper look at the power of your words in his series, "What About Your Talk?" I'm Kate Crowley. Be sure and join us tomorrow for more hope and encouragement from Paul Tripp Ministries here on Right Here, Right Now.