Paul Tripp: Sometimes grief is so powerful that it almost feels like you've died too; but you did not die. You live on because God has more for you to do. There is meaning and purpose to every day you have.

Kate Crowley: Welcome to Right Here, Right Now in today's program from Paul Tripp Ministries. Join us as Paul connects the transforming power of Jesus Christ to everyday life. Now, here's Paul Tripp.

Paul Tripp: I love life. Normally, I look forward to each new day and the possibilities it contains. I like working hard. I like being busy. I jump out of bed; I'm ready to face the day. But this was a day that was an exception.

It was the day of my mother's memorial service. I thought of the days that had preceded this one. I thought of looking at my mother in her hospital bed, her body ravaged by age and disease. She had been so vibrant, so strong, so alive.

I thought of looking at her frail body laying in a tangle of tubes, the hum of life support machines had drowned out her weak little breaths. Helplessly, we had watched death take her, defying all the technology that had been summoned to keep her alive.

We took turns holding her lifeless hand and brushing her hair away from her forehead. We kissed her cheek and straightened her sheet as if she were there. We simply didn't know how else to act.

We had so much unfinished business with her, but there would be no more phone calls; there would be no more face-to-face conversations; there would be no more visits; there would be no more anything. Here's what we were left with: a warehouse of mixed memories and a collection of faded photographs.

So I dreaded this day. I dreaded the service. I dreaded the many painful and uncomfortable conversations that I would have with people who would mean well. There was so much I would like to talk about, but with whom and when? I wondered: how would I ever make it through this day?

Music: "Tears In Heaven" by Eric Clapton

Would you know my name
If I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same
If I saw you in heaven?
I must be strong
And carry on
'Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven

Kate Crowley: This is Right Here, Right Now, and we're dealing with grief and hoping that you find the solution from today's program with Paul Tripp. Be sure and let your friends know that they can join Paul here on the radio or via the website. And remember, it's his goal to remind you every day that there really is help in Jesus Christ, right here, right now.

You can look at a complete list of resources available when you go online to paultrippministries.org. This includes Paul's book War of Words as well as his most recent blog on current issues. Just visit Paul Tripp spelled, T-R-I-P-P, paultrippministries.org.

Right now, back to the series titled, "When Grief Enters Your Door," with today's message, "What to do," as Right Here, Right Now continues.

Why I Share My Own Stories

Paul Tripp: Maybe you've wondered why I share with you so many of my own personal stories. Well, I do this because I want you to understand I am just like you. There is no principle, there's no perspective, there's no Biblical insight, there's no encouragement, there's no challenge that I will ever share with you that I don't need to hear myself. I struggle with what you struggle with. I go through what you go through, and I need the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ every bit as much as you do. And I'll need that until I go to be with the Lord.

You see, as I have been reminding you, like me, you won't escape it. You can't protect yourself from it. You live in a world where death is a reality. You'll face that dreaded day like I faced with my mom. Somehow, someway, grief will enter your door too.

And so, what we have been doing in the last couple of programs is we have been unpacking six Biblical perspectives that can guide you when the darkness of grief comes your way. I want to repeat those Biblical perspectives and then take you one more step today. Here they are.

Perspective one, there is no way to properly prepare for death. Why is that? Death is the ultimate, unnatural interruption, and so it blows our minds; it racks our emotions even if we know it's coming.

Second, death was not part of the original plan. That's why it's such an unnatural interruption. God's plan was life to carry on forever, and sin brought death into the world, and so death is an unnatural interruption--not part of the original plan.

Three, you're never alone in the darkness. Jesus is Immanuel; and if you're one of God's children, He not only comes near you, He literally comes and lives inside of you as amazing as that may seem. And so you are never alone.

Fourth perspective, evil meets good in the Gospel. One of things that God is so good at doing, delights in doing, is bringing the best of things out of the worst of things. The cross of Jesus Christ is like that. In this cruel, illegal, unjust death, God brought life.

Fifth perspective, there is more to life than this. Whenever somebody dies, whenever you experience grief, you are immediately reminded of the fact that the story is not over, that the work of the Lord Jesus Christ is not yet complete; because when His work is complete, there will be no more death.

And then sixth perspective, you can grieve in a new and different way. There's a way in which our grief is deeper because we know that death was not supposed to be part of the plan. We know what life could have been like. But there's a way in which we grieve, not in that hopeless grief, but we grieve with hope because we know that this story has an ending; we know that life will win.

Now, what we want to do is turn from these perspectives to ask the question, not just what should I think in death, but what should I do as I face grief?

Music: "Good Life" (Underdog Album Version) by Audio Adrenaline

Loneliness has left me searching
For someone to love
Poverty has changed my view
Of what true riches are
Sorrow's opened up my eyes
To see what real joy is
Pain has been the catalyst
To my heart's happiness
This is the good life
I've lost everything
I could ever want
And ever dream of
And this is the good life
I found everything
I could ever need
Here in your arms
Good, good life
Good, good life
Good, good life
Good, good life
Good, good life
Good, good life
Good, good life
Good, good life

Grief Really Is Powerful

Paul Tripp: Grief really is powerful. Death really is an emotionally volatile event that is always painful in unexpected ways. Death is a shovel that digs at you, uncovering painful memories.

It sometimes brings people together, and other times, drives them apart. It brings a new phase and abruptly ends another. Death is always mixed with happiness and sadness. Death is hard to handle. Death is difficult to respond to.

Yet with all its power, it is possible to respond to death in ways that are healthy and constructive. Once again, this is where the Bible, because it's so honest and accurate about life in a fallen world, this is where the Bible can give us direction and guidance.

Here are eight things that you can do when grief enters your door; very practical. Let me give them to you.

First, speak with honest emotions. God never calls you to pretend or put on an act. In fact, the Bible welcomes you to do exactly the opposite. The Psalms are in the Bible as an encouragement to bring honest grief questions and complaints to the Lord. Psalms like Psalm 13, Psalm 22, Psalm 38, Psalm 42, Psalm 55, Psalm 59, Psalm 61, Psalm 73, and Psalm 88 all do just that.

Your faith in God should never silence you in the face of death. God will never turn away from your questions. He is never cold in the face of your grief. He greets us in our honesty with boundless mercy, unending love, and amazing grace. He welcomes us to cast our cares on Him.

Second, run to where comfort can be found. Everyone who grieves seeks comfort in some way. The Bible reminds us that true comfort can only be found in the Lord. Now often in our grief, we seek comfort from false comforters. Maybe we'll try to numb ourselves with television or the CD player. Maybe we'll try to escape our grief through exercise, or reading, or crafts, or work. Maybe we'll try to numb our emotions with food or surround ourselves with people.

Now, all of these things will provide some measure of distraction; and because they provide some measure of distraction, they provide some measure of comfort. But none of them can fill the one place where grief causes us to feel so empty: our hearts. Only one person can bring real and lasting comfort to your heart. So in the confusion of your grief, don't run from God; run to Him with honest cries for help.

Third, resist grief's temptations. When you are grieving, you are vulnerable to temptations that you would normally be able to resist. It's at these times that the enemy of your soul sneaks up on you and attacks you; so it's wise to be watching for the typical temptations that grief brings your way. Grief brings doubt your way. Grief brings anger your way. Grief brings envy your way. Grief brings self-pity your way. You're tempted to give way to all of those things. You need to resist grief's temptations.

Fourth, seek God's resources of help. If you are God's child, you have been placed in the middle of the body of Christ. Now, what does that mean? It means that God knows that your life is a community project. God knows that you're going to have moments where you are in desperate need of help. God knows that you can't live life all by yourself.

So you really do need the multilevel, multi-perspectival resources of the members of the body to which you have been joined. Don't be ashamed of asking others for help. Be concrete about what you need, and remember - those who help you, will actually be helped through helping you.

Fifth, require yourself to look for blessing in the middle of your grief. The apostle Paul talks about giving thanks in all circumstances. That's in 1 Thessalonians 5:8. Even in the hardest of situations, God calls you to look for His grace, to search for His love, to expect His mercy.

Look for the good things that God is giving birth to out of this sad moment. Maybe it's a new theological insight; maybe it's reconnection with an old friend; maybe a new awareness of the richness of God's Word. Perhaps it's a new appreciation for the love of the body of Christ. Look for the good in the middle of the painful situation.

Sixth, don't let go of your spiritual habits. Sometimes grief is so powerful that it almost feels like you've died too, but you did not die. You live on because God has more for you to do. There is meaning and purpose to every day you have. Those habits of worship and prayer are needed now more than they've ever been. Your heart needs focus; your heart needs faith; your heart needs hope; your heart needs courage. This moment doesn't have to be a moment when your faith grows weak. It can, in fact, be a time when your faith grows even stronger.

Seventh, celebrate eternity! Boy, when you're going through the experience of grief, it's a great time to let your mind wander forward. It's an excellent time to let your self eavesdrop on eternity. Your tears are not only tears of grief. Your tears are, in fact, also tears of longing. You long in your grief for a place where grief will be no more because death will be no more. Eternity is coming, and death will finally die.

Eighth, give away the comfort you've been given. Again, the apostle Paul says in 2 Corinthians 1:3-4, "That we have been given comfort by God so that we in turn can comfort others." You don't own your comfort; God owns it, and God calls you to be a tool of His comfort in the lives of others.

The comfort God has given you is not only a ministry to you, but it is also a call for you to minister to others. You are now uniquely qualified. You know what the other person is going through. You know how easy it is to doubt, to get angry, to isolate yourself, to slide into bitterness and self-pity. You have help to offer. You have comfort to give away.

There are constructive things to do even in the middle of the greatest pain you have ever experienced. The things that we have talked about today are good for you, and they're things that will help others as well.

Music: "Hiding Place" (First Hand Album Version) by Steven Curtis Chapman

In the distance I can see the storm clouds coming my way
And I need to find a shelter before it starts to rain
So I turn and run to You, Lord, You're the only place to go
Where unfailing love surrounds me when I need it most
You're my hiding place, safe in Your embrace
I'm protected from the storm that rages
When the waters rise and I run to hide
Lord in You I'll find my hiding place

What Do You Do With Your Grief?

Paul Tripp: So what do you do with your grief? Do you isolate yourself and give way to self-pity? Do you get angry with God? Do you give up on the good habits that have guided your life? Do you demand answers to questions that simply can't be answered? Or, do you give yourself to constructive activity even in the middle of your grief?

Here are eight things to do that we talked about today.

First, don't hide your emotion. Speak to God and others with honest emotion. God welcomes you to be honest.

Second, run to where real comfort can be found. Don't rely on false comforters who give you temporary distraction, but in the end, don't really deal with the pain that's actually gripped your heart.

Three, resist grief's temptations. Grief will place you in temptation. It really will, and those temptations are very powerful. You want to resist those temptations: Doubt of God's goodness and love; anger at death and anger at God maybe because of death; envy, you feel singled out and wish you could exchange lives with somebody else; self-pity, you move God out of the center of your life, and life becomes all about you and all about the pain you're feeling. Resist grief's temptations.

Four, seek God's resources. If you are God's child, God has not left you without resources. He's placed you right in the middle of the body of Christ. The body of Christ is meant to be a multi-perspectival, multi-level resource for you as you face the harsh realities of life in a fallen world. There are resources for you. You were not meant to live all by yourself.

Fifth, look for blessings in your grief. Require yourself to do this. Don't fall into thinking that because of what you're going through, everything in your life is just completely bad. No, that's not true. God will bring good things out of this dark moment.

Sixth, require yourself to continue to rely on good spiritual habits. Oh, you're going through grief, and it may seem like those things are just not worth it in the middle of this experience. But there's a way in which your personal Bible reading, your personal prayer, your gathering with God's people, that those spiritual habits are needed now more than they ever were.

Seventh, celebrate eternity. Realize that this is not all there is; that this story is moving. There is going to be day when you'll never have to face these kinds of experiences again.

And eighth, give away the comfort you have been given. You are now uniquely qualified to comfort others because you have received God's comfort. Here's the point, God's grace is so rich and deep, He can even help you do what is best at the very time when it feels like your world has fallen down.

(Music Interlude)

Paul Tripp: I want to leave you today with one final, incredible, Biblical thought. It has so much to do with what we've been talking about. Listen to what dear old apostle Paul says; here it is; "His grace is sufficient; His strength is made perfect in our weakness...His grace is sufficient, His strength is made perfect in our weakness."

You see, you don't have to be afraid of being weak; you don't have to be afraid of being up against it; you don't have to be afraid of facing things that are bigger and more powerful than you because your hope is not based on your strength.

Hear this, what is dangerous for you and me is not weakness; what is dangerous for us is our delusions of strength because when you think you're strong, then you don't seek the help that you actually need.

You see, God's grace is enough. It's big enough to wrap itself around all of our weaknesses. In fact, the place where His strength does its best and most perfect work is when I am at my weakest. Then I reach out for His grace. Then I begin to experience the wisdom, and the power, and the character, and the perseverance, and the hope, and the courage that only He is able to give me.

You see, you don't have to be afraid of moments when you are proven to be as weak as you actually are because your hope is not your strength; your hope is His grace, and you can know this grace no matter what you're going through, and you can know it right here and right now.

Kate Crowley: Some encouraging words from Paul Tripp and his current series, "When Grief Enters Your Door," in today's lesson, "What To Do," here on Right Here, Right Now. If you'd like to learn more on how your words impact others, I want to encourage you to pick up a copy of War of Words by Paul Tripp. In this book, Paul takes a look at the power of right and wrong communication and the steps you can take to speak words of healing and grace. That's War of Words. Just go to paultrippministries.org, that's all one word. Paul Tripp, spelled T-R-I-P-P, paultrippministries.org.

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Tomorrow, Paul brings more words of grace from the Word of God. I am Kate Crowley, and for all of us at Paul Tripp Ministries, we want to remind you that, in Jesus Christ, there really is help, right here, right now.