Paul Tripp: Isn't it amazing that when Jesus Christ came to earth, one of the names He took was, "The Word." The Word, the Lord Jesus, is able to help you with your struggle with words.

Kate Crowley: From Paul Tripp Ministries, this is Right Here, Right Now, connecting the transforming power of Jesus Christ to everyday life.

Sandy (Actress): Brad, I want to hear what you have to say, but you've hurt me so many times; it's hard to sit here and take it again.

Brad (Actor): Do you think you've been the only one that's gotten hurt, Sandy? You've done a good amount of damage yourself.

Sandy: All I've ever done is try to defend myself against your verbal attacks.

Brad: But this is what always happens - you always point the finger at me and try to convince me it's all my fault.

Sandy: Brad, I know I've said the wrong things to you many times. I know I've lost it more than once, but you have this mysterious ability to push my buttons.

Brad: Sometimes you just refuse to hear. You just won't listen. I tell myself, "I'm not going to get angry." I tell myself that I will keep my cool, but when you give that bored expression, it makes me feel like I'm talking to a brick wall. I just lose it.

Sandy: And often I'm trying to do the very same thing. I'm trying not to blow it. As you're talking, I'm fighting inside myself because I don't want us to end up in another argument that discourages us both, but goes nowhere. But as I sit there, it gets harder and harder to contain myself because what you say and the way you say it are so hurtful.

Brad: I just wish you would listen to me.

Sandy: And I wish you would say things to me in a way that would make me want to listen.

Music: "War on War" by Wilco

It's a war on war
It's a war on war
It's a war on war
It's a war on war
It's a war on war
It's a war on war
It's a war on war
There's a war on
You're gonna lose
You have to lose
You have to learn how to die

Kate Crowley: "What About Your Talk?" That's the new series from Paul Tripp, coming up on Right Here, Right Now. The purpose of this program is to help you find freedom in Jesus Christ, right here, right now. And you can help spread the word that Paul Tripp Ministries can be heard Monday through Friday at 11 A.M., right here on WFIL.

You're invited to log on to paultrippministries.org, where you can pick up a copy Paul's book, War of Words and other video, audio, and print resources. That's paultrippministries.org. Right Here, Right Now continues with Paul Tripp.

Room to Grow in Your World of Talk

Paul Tripp: Maybe things aren't as bad for you as they are for Sandy and Brad. Maybe there isn't as much hurt and anger in your world of talk. Maybe you have been able to hear and grow, but I know one thing for sure, there's still room for growth in your life in this area, and I know for sure, that that's true because I know that there is still trouble in your world of talk.

I know that you are not proud of everything you say. I know that you have hurt others with your words, and you've been hurt by the talk of somebody else. I know that you've told yourself, again and again, that you will do better, only to slip back into old habits all over again.

I know that you have had conversations that have morphed into arguments when you wanted it to be such a good conversation. I know that you have prepared for conversations so that you would not blow it, only to find yourself fail again. How discouraging!

I know that there's probably not one relationship in your life that wouldn't benefit from better communication in some way. Think of your marriage; think of parenting; think of friendships; think of the job; think of your neighbors; think of the place where you work. You know that all of those relationships would be benefited by better communication.

Why do I know all these things? Because I know me. I know how consistent my struggle is with words. I know how often I fail; I know how many times I've prepared to say the right thing, only to have hurt or anger blindside me and kidnap my words. I know that like Sandy and Brad, my world of talk is not a world that's free of trouble.

I wish I could say that a day was free of talk trouble, or a week was free of talk trouble, or a month was free of talk trouble, or a year was free of talk trouble, but I'm not able to say that because my world of talk is, in fact, a daily, moment by moment, world of trouble.

Why is that? Why is this area so hard? Why do I struggle so? Why do I keep telling myself, "I'm going to do better," only to fail again? Why can I see growth, but yet, so much growth is still needed?

You know, I know there are moments, for all of us, when words that were meant to be tools of help actually become weapons of hurt. I know that every day in some way we all use words in a way they were never intended to be used.

I would like to say that God is always honored by my words, that my words are always appropriate to the situation, that they are always beneficial for others to hear, but I can't say that.

In fact, I would be mortified if a recording of my words over the last month were played publicly for any group of people to hear, and so would you.

With all of God's grace in our lives, with all of the places where He's grown us, with all of the good things that we would say about how much we've grown, with all of the spiritual progress that we've made, with all of the development of character, we still stand in the need of admitting that our world of talk is a world that is desperately in need of help, help that needs to come to us right here, right now.

Music: "Peace on Earth" by U2

Heaven on earth, we need it now
I'm sick of all of this hanging around
Sick of sorrow, sick of pain
I'm sick of hearing again and again
That there's gonna' be peace on earth

Why Focus on Words?

Paul Tripp: You may be thinking, "Paul, why have you chosen this particular area, of all the areas that you could talk about, to give this kind of consideration to? Well, I think there are a couple of reasons for choosing this area.

One is the areas that are most familiar to us, the areas that we live in the most, the things that actually appear little and mundane, are often the places that get the least attention.

And I am convinced that God doesn't want us to grow complacent. He wants us to give attention to the things that are going on in our lives. He wants us to pay attention to the things that go on right where we live every day. He wants us to understand how the Gospel speaks to the very things that we struggle with in the moment by moment, every day, mundane lifestyle that all of us live.

See, He's calling us away from being satisfied with the status quo, and He is freeing us from old patterns of self-atonement where we try to make bad things look like good things so that we can look at it and feel better about ourselves. God wants us to become aware that our world of talk is a world of trouble, that in our world talk, we are actually falling far short of His standard.

He doesn't want us to do that so that we'll feel badly, and discouraged, and depressed. No, He wants us to do that, so we will have a deeper experience of His enabling grace. No, He wants us to become aware, not because He enjoys watching us in the middle of humble pain. No, He wants to become aware because He wants us to reach out for and find the help that He, alone, is able to give us.

I don't care what kind of struggle you're in right now in your world of talk. You are not stuck. Our world of talk is not encased in concrete. There is hope for us. Jesus is the Word who is the only help for our words. Isn't it amazing that, when Jesus Christ came to earth, one of the names He took was "The Word?" The Word, the Lord Jesus, is able to help you with your struggle with words.

You see, it's only in Him that we will ever find hope of lasting growth and lasting change in our world of talk. Can you win the war of words that rages in your heart? Well, not all by yourself you can't. But if you're God's child, you are not all by yourself at any moment in your existence.

I'm convinced that, not only do we not understand many of the biblical communication principles that would give us understanding and insight, but I am more deeply persuaded that we don't understand how the person and work of the Lord Jesus Christ can change the way we understand and solve our communication problems.

Your hope for good communication is, in fact, not techniques; it's not insight; it's not principles. Your real hope is the cross of the Lord Jesus Christ. And so, God welcomes us out from behind the protective walls of fear and self-atonement. He welcomes us to come into the light and stand before Him in humble truth, and humble self-awareness, and humble admission, and be unafraid.

You see, in all of our struggles with words, He does not turn His back on us. God doesn't get tired of what we're saying and walk away and say, "Forget it! If that is the way you are going to speak, I've got no time for you."

No, rather, He does this amazing, amazing thing. He wraps His arms of love around us, and He works to changes us at the very core of who we are as human beings so that we can be both honest and hopeful at the very same time. God welcomes us to be very honest and very hopeful. And as I've said before, "The hope does not negate the honesty, and the honesty doesn't diminish the hope; that's the Bible's way of looking at life.

Why can we be both honest and hopeful? Not because of who we are, not because of our independent wisdom and strength, but because of who He is and what He has so graciously done for us in the person and work of the Lord Jesus Christ.

Now, here's what we are going to do--we're going to take a look at talk that is going to be anchored in four, fundamental, life-altering principles. Let me give them to you.

These four principles are going to be the foundation of everything that we're going to say as we examine this world of communication, this world of talk, biblically.

Here's the first one: God has a wonderful plan for our words that is far better than any plan we can come up with on our own. God, as Creator, is the creator of communication. He does have the best plan for our words.

Second principle: Sin has radically altered our agenda for our talk, resulting in much hurt, confusion, and chaos. You see, sin has ravaged this area of communication. You can see its damage, literally, in every conversation we have.

Third principle: In Christ Jesus, we find the grace that provides all we need to speak as God intended us to speak. You see, our problem with talk is so deep, so personal, so fundamental, so comprehensive, that a few techniques won't help us. Insight principles won't help us. We literally need the rescue of grace. We need something that we cannot provide for ourselves, and we will only find it in the powerful grace of the Lord Jesus Christ.

Four: The Bible plainly teaches us how to get from where we are to where God wants us to be. The Bible gives us a roadmap. It helps us to start with humble confession, but doesn't leave us there, moves us through steps of change so that our world of talk can be a world that radically changes.

Here are the four principles again. God has a wonderful plan for our words that is far better than any plan we can come up with on our own. Sin has radically altered our agenda for our words, resulting in much hurt, confusion, and chaos. Third, in Christ, we find the grace that provides all we need to speak as God intended us to speak. And four, the Bible plainly teaches us how to get from where we are to where God wants us to be.

You don't have to settle for trouble in your world of talk. You don't have to settle for being stuck. You can commit yourself to growth. You can be both hopeful and honest at the same time because God is in this world with you.

Music: "Mend Me" by Big Tent Revival

New Years Eve
And this is what I see
Every night these faces
Staring back at me
Sometimes insecure
But I know your love is pure
I am broken, mend me
Over backwards, bending
For the love you're sending
All the places that I've been
Still I can't escape this life of sin
What I want to do, I don't do
What I do, I don't want to do
I am broken, mend me
Over backwards, bending
For the love you're sending
Days have come and days have gone
Still I'm under seize
Everyday decisions made
Which I to allege
Some nights I just sit and cry
The words I can't erase
All I have in this world is
The promise of your grace
I am broken, mend me
Over backwards, bending
For the love you're sending
I am broken, mend me
Over backwards, bending
For the love you're sending
I am broken, mend me
I am broken, mend me
I am broken, mend me
You made the universe
You can mend me

Hearing Yourself Talk

Paul Tripp: Do you know you're much better at hearing other people talk than you are at hearing yourself talk? You have a much greater consciousness of the other person than you do of yourself. You know, listening to ourselves talk has the same difficulty as taking pictures.

Did you ever notice that when you lift your camera to take a picture of a scene, you're never in it? That's the way it is with the way that we often listen. It's hard to hear myself, and actually what I'm hearing is more of what other people are saying than what I'm saying.

Think about this. If you could write the story of your words, what kind of story would it be? Would it be a comedy of errors? Would it be a war epic? Would it be a mystery? Would it be a gripping drama? Would it be a happy story of love or a sad story of loss? When you wrote the chapter of your story about your friendships, what would you write about the impact of your talk on those relationships?

Or, when you write the story of your marriage, that particular chapter, how pivotal would you say that your words have been to the quality of that relationship? Or when you write the chapter on your relationships with your children, would it be filled with stories of sweet, productive words that have developed their hearts, or would it be a story of something very different than that?

How about when you write about your communication at work, what kind of chapter would that one be? Would it be filled with stories of mentoring, encouragement, and instruction; or stories of bitter words about your boss and moments of cafeteria gossip about fellow workers? What would the story of your public talk sound like, and would it be very different from the story of your private world of talk?

You see, if you were writing the story of your world of talk, what kind of story would it be? Take a moment and listen. Stand in the middle of your world of talk, and listen; hear the words echo; hear them bounce off the walls; watch the reaction that your words create in the other people in your life; take time to examine your words.

And when you came to the last chapter in the story of your world of talk, would that story have a happy ending? Or would it be a story of the same old struggle again, and again, and again, and again. We must not be content with the same old struggle.

You see, the Gospel of Jesus Christ, the cross of Jesus Christ, calls us to quit being so content. Maybe the problem with us is not that we're dissatisfied with our talk. Maybe the problem is that we are all too satisfied. Your Heavenly Father controlled the forces of nature; He controlled the events of human history so that He could send His Son to rescue you and me because our problem is just that great.

And there's nothing that's more revealing of the need we have for redemption and rescue than the words that come out of our mouths. Your words stand as evidence of your need of grace, and because of that, you and I can no longer be content to struggle in the same way in this area over, and over, and over, again.

(Music Interlude)

So, I'll ask you the unfair question: "How close are your words to the way that God intended them to be used? How embarrassed would you be to have a CD of all your words this week played publicly?" What I'm asking is: "How much trouble are you aware of in your life of talk?"

How much do you really believe that the One who gave you the gift of words can help you with your struggle of words? How much are you willing to say that your greatest problem with words doesn't exist outside of you, but rather exists inside of you? How much are you willing to admit your need and reach out for God's help? How much are you willing to say, "Enough already!"?

Isn't it stunning and encouraging to know that, in Jesus Christ, you have everything you need to speak as God intended when He gave you this amazing and powerful gift? Isn't it sweet to know that Jesus understands your struggle with words because He lived right where you and I live every day?

You see, it's time for holy dissatisfaction. It's time for a God-honoring discontent. It's time to step out of the mundane status quo and all of the difficulty that is there in those moments. It's time to say, "Change needs to take place, and I'm going to reach out for God's help." It's time to start moving, and isn't it wonderful to know that, in Jesus Christ, there really is help for your talk right here, right now, where you live every day and with the people that you're with every day?

Kate Crowley: Paul Tripp and the power of words from the series, "What About Your Talk?" Be sure to tune in tomorrow for more from this series.

Today, Paul provided some thoughts about the change needed in our own lives, as well as the lives of others. If you'd like to hear these words once more, or you would like to share them with others, you can order the CD's online, as well as other helpful resources. That's all at paultrippministries.org.

While you're there, check out War of Words. This new book by Paul Tripp describes four fundamental life-altering principles. That's War of Words, available at our website paultrippministries.org. It's all one word, paultripp, spelled, T-R-I-P-P, paultrippministries.org.

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Next time, Paul digs deeper into the power of words from the new series, "What About Your Talk?" For Paul Tripp and all of us at Paul Tripp Ministries, I'm Kate Crowley, reminding you that, in Jesus Christ, there really is help, right here, right now.