Well, if you’re a parent and you’re concerned about your children, you know that we live in a world that’s gone sexually insane. There’s no sanity out there anymore. We can barely agree on terms to use anymore for all that we’re dealing with and all of the confusion and the chaos. And it’s almost impossible to look at your phone or Netflix without having your morals assaulted and so, it’s very tempting to present sex to your children as this big, ugly, dark world that you should avoid at any cost.
And I think the place to start is with the understanding that the Bible is not sex-negative. The Bible is sex-positive. The Bible presents the beauty of this gorgeous thing that God has given us, but this is where you have to have the conversation with your children. I want you to think of one thing -- and then, I want to give you a couple of resources to think about – that pleasure of any kind always requires boundaries. Pleasure without boundaries always hurts and harms and destroys.
For example, chocolate cake is pleasurable. You cannot eat as much chocolate cake as you would ever want or you’ll be in ill health. Whatever thing you find pleasurable, that pleasure requires boundaries. The gorgeous pleasure of human sexuality, the uniqueness and sacredness and intimacy of that requires boundaries.
So what you want to do is talk about sex like you talk about anything else. Any good gift God gives us requires boundaries. Let me say it this way. Desire for even a good thing becomes a bad thing when it becomes a ruling thing. When sex rules me, when I get up in the morning and it’s all I can think about, when I get my phone in my hands and it’s all I can think about, when I love those titillating moments in a movie, the good thing that God has given has become a bad thing because it’s become a ruling thing.
Teach your children the importance of boundaries. God’s good, so He not only gives us good things, He gives us good boundaries, so we can enjoy those things as they were meant to be enjoyed. That’s the way to talk about sex with your children.